Man down
by littlestar1988
Summary: I woke up once again, by the sound of my screaming voice.The tears that traveled down my pale cheeks couldn't be stopped.He was once again chasing me down the street while I tried with every strength I had in me to escape. It was no use. He succeeded in his vicious plan. Even after two years,I could still feel his dirty hands on me,touching me,bruising my body...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys. So, how did I come to the idea of this story?... Imagine me walking tired in the rain, after college, trying to get home, earbuds in my ears. The song Man down from Rihanna was playing, and as weird as it sounds, a start of the story started to form in my mind.. What if something similar happened to Bella? So...here we are.  
**

**All mistakes are mine.  
**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.  
**

**Chapter 1  
**

I woke up once again, by the sound of my screaming voice. I dreamed about it again. Actually, that fact didn't quite surprised me— since it happened, it was the only thing I could still dream about. Something that was not so long ago an actual reality. I couldn't stop the tears that traveled down my pale cheeks as he was once again chasing me down the street while I tried with every strength I had in me to escape him. It was no use. He succeeded in his plan. He ruined me. My life was never the same after that. I went to so many therapists, paying them a big bunch of money to help me deal with it. After so many months I was tired to carry the burden that every time I would close my eyes all I would see is _him_. Tired to be afraid of falling asleep, to cry my heart out day after day after day. They all insured me that I shouldn't be blamed for something that could had happen to any other woman, and that unfortunately, I wasn't the first or the last person who would suffer through that tragical horror.

A few months later, I have managed to make some success. To heal, even if it was a process that will still take months and months 'till I would at least feel like a normal pre Bella, who was cheery, and always had a smile on her face rather than this one, this 'after Bella' that I sometimes hated so much, that always preferred distance, and safety behind closed doors rather than company. Even with the medication, I was still moody and way too serious. But I couldn't help it. I really _really_ tried, but just couldn't. Not yet.

I didn't even remember when was the last time I really, _truly_ laughed, from the heart. But I did find myself smiling bit more than usual. Still, I took my depression medication every day -plus the therapist session that were working their way into my busy schedule. I was feeling better, thinking less about it and trying to live my life as much as possible, but there were always the nights. And the nightmares that followed. I had a lot of support from my best friends, and my mother, which I was more than thankful. I could see the sympathy in their eyes, but only I could have really, _truly_ know how it felt. To be chased. Caught. Threatened. Violated. Over and over again. To beg for your life, knowing it was no use.

I got up, knowing I won't be able to sleep, so I quickly took a shower, cleaning my body from all that dirty, sticky perspiration that was all over my body. Sometimes, even after two years, I could still feel his dirty hands on me, touching me, bruising my body. Not wanting to think about it, I quickly wore some casual clothes, took my car keys, and went for a drive. It was still dark, but I didn't care, all I wanted was just to drive, to be anywhere but my house. _Alone_. I just mostly drove in circles, until I finally stopped at the place I haven't been in a long time. A place that always soothed my body and mind.

The sun began to rise over the horizon, so I took a little walk down the beach until I found a spot where I would just sit and enjoy in the view of the sea. It was a little chilly, so I wrapped my hands tight around my warm coat. It was beautiful, and most of all, _peaceful_, hearing the sounds of only waves crushing down on the soft ground full of sand. Until I heard his voice.

I instantly froze, panicking.

"No, don't go. I haven't seen you for so long. Are you okay?"

I didn't say a thing. Didn't even turn around.

"Please, talk to me. Anything." He pleaded.

Still, I said nothing. Then I heard his footsteps, approaching even closer to me. I started to shiver from the intense fear. Or was it from the cold?

"Please don't come any closer. I don't want to see or talk to you." I asked silently.

"I'm sorry. I'm _so so _sorry. I know I shouldn't..."

"It's okay. I forgive you Jake." Then I slowly got up, and walked the other way.

"No, don't go. _Stay_."

"I can't. I have to go."

"Bye," he suddenly whispered,and the way he said it sounded very heartbroken, maybe even guilty. _Still._

I didn't have any courage to look at him after all this time even if he _wasn't _the blame. There were times that I blamed him for everything. Even that. _Especially that._ But not anymore.

* * *

**So tell me what you think? Do I continue posting or not? Should I stop completely?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Since I already have some followers, I decided to continue with this story. But I just have to say that if I want to do this story justice, and _I do_, the updates won't be as frequent as others were. There will have to be a lot of research done for this story, so I apologize in advance if I screw something up. I'm only human. :)**

**Mistakes are all mine. And of course, SM owns all.  
**

**One more thing, so you don't get confused: this is all happening about 2 years later.  
**

**Chapter 2  
**

Monday morning had begun like every other day. Until our very dear boss Charlie, introduced us all to his new chosen co worker of the company.

"My dear co workers, today we have gained another person who shall help us make this company better and hopefully more stronger. Everybody, I would like you to give a warm welcome to Edward Cullen."

"Hello." Most of them spoke. I was not one of them. I was rather observing this weird looking man.

"Hi," he said quietly with a small smile.

I know what you might be thinking, but I didn't mean that as an offense, or anything bad. He was just...different. Everything was, to be exact. From his strange looks, to his deep ,yet pretty green eyes, to his very rare hair color. Orange?Nah, more like bronze ...or something similar. Charlie quickly took him away from our sights, showing him his office where he would probably work from now on.

I was a pretty closed up person, mostly keeping myself away from the crowd, enjoying in my non stressful loneliness. To be honest, even if I was surrounded by people,I was almost alone all the time. I never hanged out with any people from my work place anymore, nor even tried to be in contact with them, but strangely, this was one of those times I wished I was exactly like that. To just go up to him, and introduced myself to him politely, asked if he needed any help, smile at him kindly. No, I wouldn't do that, not today.

But why the hell wouldn't I try? My shrink did talk about something like that,what particularly about it, I wouldn't know since I wasn't really paying attention to her babbling that day, but I would try. Or at least make an attempt. And hopefully before that skank Lauren Mallory has the change to jump on his lap, and just try to fuck his brains out. If she doesn't succeed at that, there was always Jessica. However,I never got a chance to try and use my suddenly new found courage because his presence was nowhere to be found for the rest of the day.

* * *

I came home, exhausted, even though there really wasn't that much to do.

After I changed into my sweats my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetie, what's up?"

"Hey Al. Nothing new. How about you?"

"Oh same old, same old. Jasper just got a promotion so we are making a little celebration party. Wanna come?"

She knew I never really liked parties.

"He did? That's so great! I would love to but I just got from work, and I'm so tired I can barely stand on my feet, so I think I'll just stay home."

"Come on, just for a bit," she pleaded.

"Sorry."

"But you never go anywhere anymore." The tone of her voice sounded a little whiny.

"Not today. Tomorrow."

"Bella..."

"Alice..." I mimicked her voice.

She just sighed. I know she didn't want to push me, but it was clear she was getting tired. She missed the old Bella. I did too.

"I'm really sorry." I told her honestly.

I could hear her smiling. "It's okay sweetie, but we are taking you to dinner tomorrow then, and I won't take no for an answer."

"Deal." I smiled.

"Good. See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was at work, trying to photocopy a few documents, but the damn machine just wouldn't work. I tried a few times, but nothing. Then I heard a male voice. Out of habit, I froze, and could feel my heart beating faster than usual, sweating,not being able to move an inch, but forced myself slowly to turn my head, breathing deeply to calm myself. It was him, the new employee. Edward. He was wearing casual dark jeans with an unusual black t shirt (unusual for work at least). Rather focusing on his face then his clothes I looked up to see him smiling at me.

Stuttering I asked: "E-excuse me?"

_And since _when_ do I even stutter?_

He came closer, and I instantly moved, trying to give myself enough space between us, to make it more comfortable. His smile faltered a little, but still managed to spoke calmly.

"I said, you have to push this button here, and then hold the papers patiently. If not, you can always give him a little kick." He moved closer to the machine and started pushing some buttons until you could finally hear the sound of a machine working. After a few minor kicks, of course.

"There you go." He said,and the machine started to work again.

I smiled a bit, amused. "Did you just really kick the machine? What would the boss say to that?"

He shrugged, grinning just a bit. "I'm all against the violence but when nothing else doesn't work...plus, I know Charlie for a long time, and if you didn't know by now, he gives that exact advice to every employee on their first day, or so I've been told, anyway."

My smile widened a bit more, maybe even a bit teasingly. "That's funny, 'cause I've been working here for a long time, and I was never told about something like that, especially not from Charlie."

He shrugged, grinning at me, teasing himself. "You're a woman. They are fragile creatures by nature."

"Watch it buddy! You don't know what I can do." I might have been once before but not anymore. The work outs that were prescribed by my shrink had worked pretty good so far.

He suddenly thew his head back, laughing.

The sound of his laugh was amazing, and very contagious. I couldn't help myself, chuckling quietly.

"I apologize,"he said, serious, but there was still a small amount of amusement on his face.

"Apology accepted."

He suddenly took the copies of a few documents, taking step by step closer to me. He seemed like a good guy, but my crippling fear was faster. I quickly took a few more steps backwards. His smile was suddenly gone,furrowing his brows just a bit.

"Ummm, thanks, you can put it on the desk." I murmured quietly, filling the awkward silence.

He just nodded, looking at me for another second before he left.

I sighed half grateful, half pissed. Not at him, but myself. I hated feeling like this. He apparently wasn't going to do anything to me, I knew that, but my brain refused to acknowledge that fact. And I thought for once that the therapy I have been receiving was helping me. I guess I was a fool for thinking that the old me would come back so soon. I guess I was wrong.I tried to focus on my current job, breathing slowly, hoping the anger will slowly go away. The rest of the day passed in the same business way, boring. Thankfully, I haven't seen Edward for the rest of the day.

* * *

"Hey sweetie," she said, hugging me tightly.

"Hey," I spoke with a smile.

"Jasper," I nodded at him in greeting. He smiled. "Hello Bella, how have you been?"

"I'm good."

"So, have you ordered yet?"

"No, we were waiting for you, actually," Alice answered.

"Oh, you shouldn't have."

"It's not a bother. So, shall we order?" Jasper asked.

"Sure."

The waiter quickly took our order, leaving us alone.

"So, Bella, how's work? Anything new happening in your life?"Alice asked softly.

"Well, not really. But we did got a new employee. He was kind of...cute, I guess."

They both gasped a little.

"What?" I asked, confused.

They just looked at each other and smiled.

"Nothing dear. So, what's his name? What does he look like?"

"Edward. He looks a little weird, but in a good way I guess. He has this weird shaggy hair that looks brownishly bronze...does that word even exist? I don't really know how to explain. Oh, and his eyes are not like normal green, more like emeralds, or something like that. He's also quite tall."

Alice grinned. "It looks like you have a little crush on him."

Do I? I didn't think so, but didn't really want to object, so I just shrugged.

Alice seemed to jump out of happiness about right now.

I smiled at her behavior. "Jeez Alice, calm down. Jasper... control your woman."

He laughed. "Like I could ever do that. She 's a force of nature, unstoppable."

Jasper just smiled at her knowingly and kissed on the forehead.

"So,what's his last name? The way you just described him sounds a little familiar."

"Uh, I don't really know, but I think it starts with a C."

"Cullen?" Jasper asked.

"I think so, why?"

"He used to work with me, before he quit. Last time I heard was that he was working at that fancy company called

"Laurent&Denali" or something like that."

"So?"

"I'm just wondering why he would go from that one to yours." Then he shrugged. "Never mind. But I should call him one day, we used to hang out a lot before. Good guy."

Alice jumped at the opportunity. "You should.I don't think you have his number?Do you?"

"No, not anymore."

She grinned,looking at me. Oh-oh. "Then maybe Bella should ask him for you. We could have a little get together, just the four of us. It will be great!"

"Alice, I ...can't," I whispered.

"Why not sweetie? It's just a phone number."

I shook my head sadly. "Even if I could somehow get his number, you know I just can't...be so close to him. Do you remember just how much it took for me to get this close to Jasper? _Weeks,_ Alice. I couldn't even bear for him to touch me, him,_ Jasper_, the guy that I feel is like my big brother." My eyes started to fill with tears." And not just that, he also kind of frightens me. I feel nervous and anxious around him. I sweat a lot too. Abnormally so. It's kind of disgusting."

Alice looked at me with sympathy. "I know it took sometime but I can see that the therapy you have been taking is helping you so far. And eventually you _did_ come over it. You even let Jasper comfort you. You both tease each other like little kids. Just like before."

Jasper suddenly lifted his hand to put over my left one,softly, while Alice took her own hand, putting it over his. Both comforting me with a small proud smile. I really was lucky to find such great supportive friends. This time I couldn't stop my tears, they flowed down my cheeks, falling and ruining the white table cloth.

"Thank you guys."

They smiled gently. "There is nothing you have to thank us for, we will be here for you, always, you know that,plus," Alice continued," I think your side affects, if I can _call them_ like that, are not just because of your PTSD, but because I think you actually like him. I remember first time when I met Jasper. I couldn't stand him,he was so annoying, yet every time I would see him he would make me so nervous that my hands would instantly start to shake,which I thought was from being such a pain in the ass at first...of course, once I really started to get to know him, I realized that all those symptoms were because I actually liked him. And well, you know the rest. I'm not trying to push you sweetie, I just want you to try, that's all. If you can't, that's fine too. At least you know then that you tried your best."

"He really _is_ a good guy Bella," Jasper responded.

I sighed deeply. "Okay... I'll try,"I whispered.

"Great," Alice said soothingly, squeezing my hand but quickly releasing it so the bartender could give us our ordered meals.

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I tried to squeeze a lot of things into this chapter, and hopefully, with the research I did, it turned out okay. I'm trying to take this all slow between E and B so don't expect lemons right away. ;)**

**SM owns everything.**

**Mistakes are all mine though.**

**Chapter 3**

Today was going to be a hard day. Not just because of my schedule that included work, my therapy sessions, gym, and then finally home, but also, I would have to muster all of my courage and actually talk to Edward. I realized that I don't find myself getting nervous while talking to him, since he seems like a very down to earth easy kind of guy, but more the closeness I would find myself in his presence. It actually terrified me a little. I tried to breathe, deep and slow, thinking of my happy place. Meditation was actually a good thing to help calm you. I never knew that until I enrolled myself with lessons. Yoga was pretty good as well. It also gets you more flexible.

Breath in, breath out. And repeat.

After doing that a couple of times, I was ready to approach him. Step by step. Thankfully, Charlie gave me an excuse to visit him. I knocked silently.

"Come in."

Taking another deep breath, I let myself in.

"Oh, Miss Swan, come in please. So,what can I do for you?"he asked with a slight smile.

I spoke calmly- well as much as I could- but neither of us moved from our spot. I was still a little too far away from him, so step by step I approached his desk. My heart kept on beating loudly._Calm down Bella, it's okay, he's not going to harm you. Breath in. Out._

I gave a small shy smile. "Charlie sent me to give this to you." I gave him the papers- which were now laying on the table- and moved a couple of inches away from his desk.

He must have known by now that this is not how others would behave around him, only me. But didn't say a thing. He just nodded politely.

"Thank you." And with that, he went back to his files.

I just stood there not knowing how this next plan is going to work.

After a few moments, he lifted his head, surprised that I'm still standing here.

I looked at him. He really did have a beautiful, soft face. The gentle, warm look he gave me might have even soothed me, if I wasn't nervous for what I was supposed to do now. His eyes were full of questions. Not even knowing what to say, looking straight into his green eyes, I sounded more confident that I was at the moment.

"Do you know by any chance Jasper Whitlock, Mr Cullen?"

He suddenly grinned. His smile mesmerized me. "Yes, of course. Do _you_ know him?"

I nodded. "My best friend is married to him."

"He got married?" he asked, surprised, but happily so.

"Yes. They have been married for 2 years now."

"Well, that's really nice. I should pay him a visit once. Do you maybe have his phone number?"

"Actually, that's kind of a reason why I brought him up. He asked me if _I_ can ask _you _for your number."

"That would be great." He smiled. "Now all you have to do is get closer to me, so I could write it down in your phone."

"Oh. But you don't need my phone. You can write it on a piece of paper or something."

"But you might lose it then."

I nodded hesitantly but didn't move a bit.

His voice sounded soothing, and his face soft, almost pleading. "Don't be afraid. You can trust me."

I took two big breaths, and slowly approached him. Closer. Closer still.

"That's it, just a bit more."

I took another step, which left me standing in front of his desk. So close that I could feel his body warmth.

"Great. Now please take a seat... if you want, that is."

I sat down, opened my bag and took the cell in my sweaty, slightly shaky hands, offering it to him.

"Here you go Mr. Cullen."

"Call me Edward, please."

I smiled just a bit. "Edward then."

"Here you go." He said, punching his number in and putting the cell back on the table. "Tell him to call me anytime. I'd love to hear from him soon."

"I will." Taking the phone in my hand, I stood up, ready to leave.

"Have a nice day Bella."

"You too Mr...err, Edward."

* * *

The next few weeks were busy. I have gotten to see Edward a few more times over the weeks, and it surprised me that I didn't feel so uncomfortable next to him like I used to. I think he noticed that too. He would always greet me politely, with his smile. Sometimes even a grin. Being able to really look at him, gave me some kind of a different feeling of serenity, or some shit like that. Which confused and surprised the hell out of me. Talking about him seemed to be more of a frequent theme with my shrink than any other topics. She asked me a lot of questions as well, and we came to the conclusion what I already knew.

First, I was doing quite well with my treatments, and secondly, which was way more than obvious, was, that I liked Edward. The first news made me glad, but I was still struggling with my fears. I told her so. She told me to just 'focus on my treatments' and to 'give it time'. Currently we were doing the **Cognitive behavioral therapy**, which in particular, can help you learn ways to reduce and manage your reactions to triggers, such as smell, sounds, things or even feelings. She also gave me an advice to, if I had some time over the weekend I could do some things such as volunteering, which would help me cope and reduce my anxiety along with fear. There were lots of more examples, which I had to admit were good, but I hadn't really had the time for all of that.

I felt really good coming back from the gym. I felt relaxed. Yet energized. After taking a quick shower, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

"Nothing much. Just came back from the gym, you?"

"Oh, nothing special. Say, you wanna come over my house for a bit, hang around? Jasper and I thought of making a little movie night or something."

"You know what? I actually kind of would. Should I bring any snacks or?"

"Great! Only if you want. Is 9 p.m okay?"

"Sure. See ya."

"Bye," Alice sang.

Hmm, she sounded a little_ too_ happy. I shrugged. Oh well.

I quickly dried my hair,deciding that I won't tie it down, wearing my comfy black jeans a simple shirt, with my new dark blue converse. I got into my car, turning up the sound of radio, and put my foot on gas. Fifteen min later, I was in front of Al' and Jasper's house. After ringing the bell, Alice quickly opened it with a huge smile.

"You made it," she said, hugging me in the process.

"Alice, can't...breathe."

She laughed. "Sorry. I'm just happy you're here."

Jeez, I have never seen her this happy. Like we haven't seen each other just yesterday. I mean, I know a lot of times I would turn her invitation down, but I did try to spend more of my time with her. Was I really _that_ bad?

"Alice is this because...listen, I'm sorry if I haven't been acting like a good friend lately, but I'm trying..."

"Oh, Bella, don't worry about it. I know you have your own things to do, it's just...I miss you sometimes,you know?"

I gave her a huge hug. "I miss you too, the way it used to be. But we just saw each other just yesterday. It's not like something major happened since yesterday evening, right?"

This time she was the one crying.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

She wiped her tears. "No, I'm just... happy, that's all. But I do have something to tell you."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant." She whispered.

My eyes widened. "_You're pregnant_?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Congratulations!"I said hugging her again, for the second time.

"I'm really happy for you." And I really, truly was.

"Thank you."

"Does Jasper know?"

"Yep, I told him already. You should have seen the expression on his face. He couldn't move. He just sat there, like some kind of a statue. Then all the sudden, a tear slipped over his cheek. He lifted me in a hug, spinning me around so fast, that I had to run towards the bathroom before I puked on the floor."

I laughed. Really and truly laughed at her little story. She did too.

We entered the living room where I saw Jasper doing a barbecue in their front yard. He was wearing a huge smile on his face, whistling cheerfully.

"Isn't it a little too cold for him to be doing barbecue?"

Alice just shrugged. "I asked him the same thing, but he insisted, so I let him."

"You hungry? We have hamburgers, fries, mashed potato, chicken..."

"You sure have made a lot of food for just three of us..."

"Actually...Jasper invited someone else."

"Who?"

"Ummm... Edward. I hope that's okay."

I gulped a bit nervously. "Yeah, I guess."

"Don't worry, if you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and we can work something out."

Now, I felt bad. But still, I said nothing. Selfishly I just kept my mouth shut and nodded.

"Here we go ladies. Look at all that hamburgers. Yummm." Jasper said, licking his lips.

Alice helped him with the food, putting plates on the kitchen table.

Just then the bell rang.

"Bella, can you please open the door?"

I slowly walked to the the front door and opened them to see Edward standing there, wearing a very casual jeans, a shirt, and believe it or not, converse. Black.

"Hi Edward," I said moving out of the way, so he could walk in, as always keeping my distance, but little bit less then I had in the beginning.

"Hello Bella. Nice to see you here. I can see we have a similar taste in foot wear as well."

I shrugged a little with a tiny smile. "What can I say? I love them. Alice and Jasper are in the kitchen. Follow me."

"Hey Edster."Jasper called.

Edward's eyes widened at the look of all that food. It was similar to the comical one Jasper had. I cracked a smile.

"Wow, are we celebrating something tonight?"

"Kind of. I just found out I'm gonna be a father."Jasper announced,grinning.

"Dude, congrats." Edward said, tapping Jasper on his back like guys do.

"Thanks."

"Can't forget about Alice. Future Momma, give me some sugar," he laughed.

She just grinned, hugging Edward. The way they were talking and joking with such easiness and playfulness toward each other made me a little jealous. Why couldn't I do that,behave that free spirited near him? I bit my lip, feeling frustrated all of a sudden.

"Come on people, let's eat."

Alice and Jasper quickly sat next to each other on the right, while Edward sat on the opposite side, which left only one available seat, next to him. They were only waiting for me.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. Jasper, would you please..."

"Oh, no,no,no it's ...alright. You don't have to move. I'll just..."

"You sure?" Alice asked quietly.

"Bella, don't pressure yourself, it's not a bother..." Jasper said quickly.

"I'm fine!"

They both looked at me, surprised by my outburst.

I took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry. It's just that I don't like it when..."

"Maybe I should just just move to the living room." Edward said, getting up.

"_No_. No one is getting up or moving from this kitchen. Alice you sit next to Jasper, and I will next to Edward. End of the story. I can take this, you know? He is just a person for God's sake. Now please let's just eat this wonderful food that Jasper had grilled for us. Who wants hamburgers?"

Everybody sat quietly, including me, while Edward was still standing.

I sighed. "I'm sorry if I offended you with my behavior Edward. Would you please sit down and eat?"

He nodded warily.

There was a lot of tension in the air, and silence, except for the forks scraping across the plate.

_Just. Great._

Edward broke the silence. "Would anybody like some wine?Alice? Jasper?"

"I'm pregnant you dumb ass, remember?" Alice said smiling.

He grinned. "Oh, right. Well how about you Jasper?"

"Hell yeah, give me that shit!"

"And you Bella?"

"No, thanks."

"Oh come on, just a bit. Don't tell me you are pregnant too?"he teased.

I gave a tight smile. "Nope but I'm kind of told not to."

"By who?" He asked, suddenly interested.

"My shrink."

"Oh," he said, embarrassed.

I shrugged. " That's okay, I'm not much of a drinker anyway. So, don't worry."

We all chatted with each other then, leaving the silence behind, well, sort of. I chatted with Al, and J with Edward. And vice versa. I had nothing good on my mind to ask Edward, so I just kept my mouth shut. I took a peek, from the corner of my eye to see that he was watching me too. I quickly turned my head away from him, turning my attention to the food on the plate.

"Alice, would you please send the fries over to me?" Edward asked.

"No problem."

She took the plate in her hands, giving it to me. I carefully send the same plate to Edward, but while passing it, our fingers slightly touched. In the same second I removed my hands quickly from the plate.

"What was... that?" I asked Edward,gasping.

"What?"Alice asked worried.

"...weird electricity ..." he responded,muttering quietly.

"I..uh...excuse me..."

I got up from the table, walking in the direction of the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror, splashing my face with cold water.

There was an instant knock on the door.

"Bella, can I come come in?" Alice asked.

"Sure."

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Ummm...I accidentally touched him while passing the fries, but it was strange. I didn't have any flashes as I sometimes do. No intruding thoughts,or any anxiety. It just kind of tingled... but in a good way..._I think_."

She smiled softly. " Sweetie,I think that's called chemistry. You seemed to be both attracted to each other."

"I don't think so."

"Trust me. When have I ever been wrong?"

I gave her the look. She knew what I was thinking.

Alice laughed quietly. "Except for that one time. Just trust me, alright?I can see he likes you too."

"I guess I... like him as well, its just that...I don't know how...or when..."

"I know sweetie, just take it slow... let him take the first step."

"What makes you sure there will be such a thing?"

She huffed lightly. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? No? Well I did,and trust me when I say, he _will_ make a move, sooner rather than later."

* * *

Alice and Jasper were in the kitchen while Edward I were in the living room. We both sat on the couch, me on the left end and him on the right. The sofa was mostly small so we weren't distant so much from each other. Edward cleared his throat. "Bella, I would like to apologize for..."

"Apologize? For what? You did nothing wrong. On the contrary, I was the one who jelled at you so I should be the one apologizing."

"You already did," he reminded me.

"I guess. It's just, I tend to have problems with my behavior sometimes, and out of nowhere, I tend to shout at people for no reasons. I'm working on that though."

"With your shrink?" he whispered.

"Yeah. She's been a great help to me."

"I, uh...heard from Jazz and Al what happened. I mean not everything, just the basics. I'm sorry about that. You of all people, shouldn't have known what it felt like to be...abused... like that.

While he spoke, I could really feel the sincerity in his voice. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had issues with anger. The whole way trough the talk we shared ,shallow as it was, his hands tightened into a fist, shaking with silent fury. I didn't know just how much they actually told him, but it was a certainty that I wouldn't tell another word. Not because I didn't trust him, even if I hadn't known him that much, but also because I never really liked talking about it, not even with my shrink.

"Thank you. That means a lot. If I have learned anything by now it was that what happened to me wasn't my fault, nor there was anything I could have done to change the past. It is what it is, and now all that was left to do is just take things at the time, day by day,and try to live past it. Of course, its easier said then done.

I felt his body warmth closer to mine than before. I looked up to see that he was sitting closer to me, so close that with just one little move- one little touch-our knees would touch. It also surprised me the fact that I was more than fine with that. There was no fear nor nervousness, only the slight heat of our bodies. He slowly moved his hand, watching me, then inch by inch, pulling it closer to mine. His hand shook with nervousness and insecurity, but then, finally, I could feel it. Feel the warmth of his hand on mine. I didn't flinch, or moved away from him. I just gave a tiny smile. He seemed a little surprised by my reaction but quickly smiled back.

"I really am sorry." He whispered.

"I know. Jasper was right what he said about you."

He lifted his eyebrow lightly. "And what was that?"

"That you are a good guy."

We just stared at each other for a few moments when suddenly I could hear a silent noise. I turned around, blushing at the discovery of being caught by Alice, even if we weren't doing anything inappropriate.

She smiled kindly. "Would you like some ice cream?"

I shrugged. "Sure. You have my favorite?"

"Of course. How about you Edward?"

"No thanks."

"Okay, chocolate chip coming up."

After both Jazz and Al came back, settling back on their couch, they mostly fought first about the choices of the movie we would watch. Then it was suddenly turned into a chicks versus guys fight. We wanted to see „Knocked up", while guys were cheering for that new Batman movie where Heath Ledger was starring before he died.

At the end we chose a movie that was between supposedly said a comedy mixed with action. Which wasn't really getting my interest. But that might be mostly because I wasn't watching the movie, rather, I was staring at him. And every few minutes, I saw that the he was watching me too. I smiled a lot that night. Al and Jazz were both next to us, cuddling by now, and even if it was sweet to see them like that, I knew I still wasn't ready for that sort of thing. But the tightening on our intertwined fingers never loosened.


	4. Chapter 4

**SM owns everything. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 4**

Time went by. Some days were slow, and some running faster than others. I mostly saw Edward every day now. He didn't stay a lot in his office, mostly spotting him near my work space, close but never close enough. But that might also be because of that stupid slut Lauren that kept pulling him by her desk, "to chit chat."

Please, none of us were blind. If she could have fucked him on that desk, daily, she would. Something tells me that she would even enjoy the audience. I shook my head, disgusted.

For the first time, I might have even been a bit jealous at that skank -not because she seems to be easy, _fuck no_- but because of Edward. And the one thing that pleased me the most was that even if he was spending his time talking to her, I could see from time to time how his wondering eyes were looking at me. For some reason, even when I wasn't, or I should say _trying not to_ pay attention to him, I could feel his gaze on me. I would start squirming, and when I could no longer take it, I would catch him smiling at me. It was not the polite one he would always give her. It looked softer, and a bit brighter. I could feel my own smile spreading against my face.

After the day at Alice's place, I kind of hoped she would be right and that he would just walk up to me one day and ask me on a date. He never did, of course.

Until one Tuesday, at noon.

He walked up straight toward me, lightly knocking on my cubicle.

"Knock, knock," he said with a small smile.

"Oh. Hi. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. It's lunch time, and so ..."

"Already?" I interrupted him, looking at my watch.

Where did the time go today?

He scratched his neck nervously. "Yeah, and I'm tired of the same food I eat day after day, so, I was, umm, thinking if you could show me some good diners around here-that serve decent food- I could actually enjoy. Maybe, pancakes? I haven't eaten them in a while and..."

Babbling much Edward? He was still cute though.

"Actually I haven't as well, and there is this great place I know, just around the co..."

He interrupted me this time. "I would rather you come with me, and maybe show it to me, so I don't get lost, plus, I would like some company...you like pancakes right? If not..."

I couldn't not grin at him. "Edward, you had me at pancakes, of course I'll go with you."

The grin he returned was victorious.

Don't know where the boldness came from, but I asked suddenly, "No Lauren today?"

He sighed, relieved. "No, thank God."

I smirked. "You don't like her very much,do you?"

He wasn't the only one.

"She is okay, but she just can't seem to leave me alone. I've never met a person that is so pushy and yet clueless.I can't even go to the bathroom without her following me."

Now, I just had to laugh.

We walked in silence towards my favorite diner. It was one of those that I had discovered when I had my nightly routine instead of sleeping. And I kept coming back, night after night. To be honest, I don't really know if I have ever been there in the daylight.

The reason of coming back were not just because of the pancakes—that were delicious by the way – but also because of the employes that worked there. It was a family business where I had met Siobhan and her daughter Maggie after my breakdown.

We both took a seat next to the window, and took our menus.

"Well, isn't this a lovely surprise!"

"Hey, Siobhan, nice to see you too. Mag not working today?"

"Nope. And who is this young man you brought today?" she asked with a smirk on her face.

"This is Edward."

"Well, hello there, very nice to meet you."

They shook hands. „You too."

"You better take good care of this girl , you hear, she is a very special lady..."

"Siobhan, we only work together..." I interrupted her quickly, but she just winked at me, not believing my words.

"Sure you are sweetie. Now, what shall it be?"

"I'll have some of your delicious pancakes."

She grinned at me. "Of course, and you, young man?"

"The same please,two portions, one with blueberry syrup, and the second with chocolate."

"You have a big appetite there, don't you Edward?"

Then she got closer to me and whispered: "and I bet it's the same in other things as well." Than winked one more time. Yeah, I caught the innuendo, and blushed.

"I guess." He said a bit confused, but answered Siobhan's question casually only after she quickly ran off.

I avoided his stare at the question. "So,what was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" I asked while taking a sip from my coffee.

"She seems nice, but what did she tell you that made you so red in the face?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Oh really, if it's not, why don't you look at me while I'm talking to you? Did she say something about me?"

"No, like I said, it was nothing important."

"She did. I know it. What was it? Tell me."

"Just drop it."

Just as I thought he really would, I looked up to see his face. He was giving me that puppy look. Those eyes...crap, I knew I shouldn't have looked up. And as if that was not enough, he had to ask me one last time, with that soft, pleading voice.

"Please."

I sighed.

"Fine. She kind of insinuated that if you have such a big appetite for food, I should imagine how big of an appetite you would have in...you know..._other places_...or maybe even how big you are...or can be...you know.._. there...in your male region_..."

He grinned, giving me a new kind of smile that I have never seen before. Wide crooked grin, showing his pretty white teeth.

He also looked a bit smug. Edward obviously understood what I was saying, or trying to.

I thought he was going to say something, some smart statement or an innuendo about his stamina, or whatever, but he just kept being quiet, a slight smile never disappearing from his face. His ego was stroked alright.

We didn't say anything else after that, so we just sat there, waiting for our order.

It didn't take long. She served us our pancakes with a smile.

"Here you go kids, anything else?"

"Nope."

"Good. Enjoy."

"Thanks," Edward replied,but before she left, he pulled Siobhan by her hand,whispering in her ear, "You were right though," and winked.

Siobhan didn't understand right away, but moments later, she laughed at him knowingly.

"What can I say, I'm a good judge of character."

_That or the reason that she still acts like a horny teen sometimes rather than anything else, I thought._

"I like your young man Bella, you should bring him more often."

I just nodded, focusing on my pancakes. Discussing with her on this would not end well. Better save myself of more humiliation while I still could.

She nodded too."Good. You take care of this young one, you hear?"

"I will, don't worry." He responded seriously.

I took my first bite then and moaned. Loud.I didn't mean to but I couldn't really stop myself, they were _that_ good. When I opened my eyes, Edward was just staring at me.

"Sorry," I apologized awkwardly.

He blinked a few times, until he answered with a wide teasing grin.

"Oh, it's not a problem at all, I mean, it's not like I don't hear girls moaning over their lunch every day, especially the pretty brunettes, although, I have to say, those pancakes can beat mine own without a doubt.

_Did he just call me pretty? _

I didn't say anything but instead asked "You cook?" while I still chewed with my mouth full, so it must have sounded something like "you fuuk?"

He laughed. "Not really, but I know how to make a few things."

"Like?" I asked.

He smirked. "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

* * *

And this is how mostly the week passed by. We went to the diner every day, Siobhan greeted us with a smile and a few jokes, some on my own expense, and some were just plain rude, and full of innuendos. But that was Siobhan, always the entertainer. I started to look forward going to the diner with Edward everyday, just enjoying the food, and cracking jokes. Sometimes, Angela would join us as well, depending on her shift. Soon enough, it became a routine. It was funny how the sides have changed so quickly. Lauren couldn't be more furious that he actually chose to spend his free time with me, rather than her. Those thirty minutes with him made me feel normal again. Kind that I wasn't before, but spending time with him made me forget about everything for a while. I was even feeling more comfortable around him, which I think he noticed, and after weeks of meeting like this, I suspected that maybe it was too late to act on anything between us. Don't get me wrong, I really liked having him as a friend but there was still that attraction between us that both of us seemed to just avoid it. Some days were just filled with tension between us that we didn't know how to make it less tangible. While I liked that we were just friends, who hanged out, taking it slow, the other side of me was kind of getting impatient, even though I was yet not emotionally or physically -or some crap like that, (words that were spoken from my shrink, not me, just so we are clear) ready to be involved in something as a relationship with an opposite lets just say it like it is;sex.

"So..." he started.

"So..." I continued.

I was spending enough time with Edward that by know I knew some of his nervous moves. His ticks. And this was definitely one of them. His ears turned red at the top, while he scratched his neck nervously, trying to sound casual.

"So, my friend has two tickets for this thing and..."

"What thing?"

"Well, opera. He would go every year with his girlfriend, but they broke up, and since he already bought them, but doesn't really want to go anymore, he asked me if I want to and I thought if you maybe like..."

_Oh. Is he actually asking me out on a date or something ? What the hell could I say? I don't even like freaking opera! But what if my miss my chance?_

_I guess I should just be honest with him ha?_

"Ummm, thanks for the offer, I appreciate it, but I don't like opera that much, I'm more cinema kind of a girl."

"We can go catch a movie than, I mean, if you want?"

He was currently slicing his pancakes carefully, concentrating at a particular assignment a bit too much.

I shrugged. "Sure. I haven't been in a while. But I'm not into chick movies that much. It would be awesome if we could check out a horror movie or even a drama. Or we could watch some action movie if you are into that stuff?"

He finally took a bite, still trying to look casual, his body less tense.

Oh, Edward, you aren't fooling anyone.

He finally gave a small smile. "Nah, I'm with you on this. Friday?"

I nodded with a smile. "Friday."

* * *

The next day, after work, I took a quick shower before getting ready for my yoga class.

After stretching for who knows how much time, all the girls went to the locker room to change out of their sweaty clothes, me included. As usual, I would stay among the last ones, to wait for Rose.

"Hey, B, so what do you say about our work out today?"

"One word. Freaking exhausting."

She gave a small chuckle. "That's actually two words."

"Whatever."

"So anything new with you? Or about that guy you've been seeing?"

"It's nothing like that."

"Oh no? Then why are you smiling like that? What happened? Tell me!"

"Well, he sort of asked me out on a date."

She lifted her eyebrow. "Sort of?"

I shrugged. "Yeah. We are going Friday night to see a movie."

"Dinner?"

"I don't know, I'm not hungry."

"Not now you silly, I mean after the movie, with him?"

"Oh. I don't know."

"How so?"

I shrugged once again. "So how about you, anything new?"

"Well, I'm going on a date too. With some guy named Emmert, or Emmerson, or something like that. And on a blind date, no less." She shook her head. "I can't even believe I'm doing this."

I smiled. "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad. If it gets to be unbearable, you can always call me. You know our little system."

She laughed then. "Yeah, thank God for that. You ready? I gotta lock up."

"Yeah, let's go."

After she walked me over to my parking space, I thanked her once again, and drove off.

Not long after I got into therapy, my shrink decided that I should do some exercises, like yoga or some crap like that. At first I was more than happy to stay in the safety of my small home, but eventually, someone (and by that I mean Alice) forced me to actually try. I never did say this to her, but I'm glad she made me go.

I always thought Rosalie as a person that has not just the looks, and brains, but also a lot of luck. But boy, was I wrong. Not about the look thing, but the luck. Don't know how, but one afternoon I found myself alone in the locker room, crying, letting all of my frustration out. She must have heard some weird noises, and went to check out. She found me on the floor shaking with sobs,trying to ask me some questions but I just kept weeping. Somehow later after her bringing me some coffee from the machine, I got some control back over my body.

She just sat by my side, not asking questions, not even expecting from me to give them, just keeping me company, not letting me be alone.

It was in a way comforting.

It took a bit more time to open up to her, but I did, in time,and what she told me about her life surprised me.

She was being bullied by her ex boyfriend. It took her months to get away from him, and report him to the police. Like every girl, the first time he hit her, he promised not to do it again, but he did, and time after time she kept making excuses for him. Covering herself with makeup in any way possible so the bruises wouldn't be visible to others. So after months of it, she finally had enough courage to ask for help.

And, yet, after all of that, after all that beating, day after day, there she stood, brave and laughing with me like nothing ever happened. And that's when I realized that looks can be deceiving in a lot of ways. That I could try too be more like her. Live every day fully. Bravely. Of course, easier said than done.

But I could try. There was always that.


	5. Chapter 5

**SM owns everything. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 5**

I had a date with Edward today, and I was more nervous about it than I hated to admit. And you know that feeling when your whole body tingles, the way like thousand of ants are walking inside your skin, and no matter how much you try to get rid of them, you just couldn't succeed? Well, it had worsened so much as the time was approaching that my stomach started to do this weird flippy thing, and _no_, I'm not talking butterflies. So much in fact that I might even vomit soon. Awesome, isn't it?

This was not how it used to be before. I was never nervous. And I had rolled our conversation in my mind over the week so much that I started to had doubts that this really was a date. But what if it wasn't? What it he was asking me to the movie as friends? Or even worse, what is this was a pity date?

I growled, getting myself out of the shower, quickly running to my room and turning the music as loud as possible, to distract me. It was so long since I went anywhere with a male that wasn't a friend like Jasper or me being a third wheel with Alice, that the dilemma- as maybe not the biggest but certainly existed – was, what in the world would I even wear?

I tried hundreds of things, but in the end decided to just wear what I felt most comfortable in, yet something that wasn't just too casual. Jeans and a black top that was fancy but not too revealing. After doing my hair, and makeup (deciding to not put too much of that stuff) I had ten minutes to spare, which left me fidgeting on the sofa, and trying in vain to pay attention to the TV, begging for the time to pass by faster, and yet dreading it.

And then the doorbell rang.

I focused on taking a small step at the time, and breathing slowly. Opening the door slowly, seeing him smiling at me, while holding something in his hand, all my worries and stiffness went away. Sounds silly, but it was true. I smiled at him as well, and ushered him inside.

"You look nice."

"Thanks. You too. So...what is that in your hands?"

"Oh...it's kind of a little home present since I've never been at your place. It looks nice. Very... warm."

I took the plant(or whatever it was) from his hands and thanked him once more.

"It's some kind of a flower, the girl that works in the shop told me the name, but I kind of...forgot."

He seemed a bit nervous too, which in a weird way comforted me, just a little.

"Just another thing, which I'm sure is not that necessary to remind you, but the girl at the store also said to water it every two days, at least."

"I will."

He gave me a small smile. "Okay then. You ready?"

"Umm, yeah, just let me take my coat."

* * *

Couple of minutes later, we were at the theater waiting in the line to buy tickets, and that's when I saw the trailer.

"Oh, my god," I gasped quietly. At least I thought I did.

"You into that cheesy stuff too ha?" he asked with a polite smile, but I could see a trace of teasing on his face.

I tried to act casual, and not all like a crazy fan. But how could you not? Have you seen the guys in that movie?

"Yeah, it's okay I guess. But we don't have to see it. Alice will just drag me to see it another day."

Or the other way around. Although we were both into the movies, we definitely weren't attracted to the same type of guys. She couldn't stop babbling about the dude with the blond hair. He looked very much like her husband, so that might have been a big reason as well.

"Or this one?" he asked, pointing at the TV screen above us.

"Sure. It looks funny." He looked at something for a moment, then slightly nodded his head.

"Listen, can you buy the tickets? I have to go to the ladies room. I'll be quick I promise. Here's the money."

He frowned deeply. "What for?"

"Tickets." I was starting to jump a bit from one foot to another. I could never hold it for too long.

He smiled slightly at my pose.

"Go. I'll take care of this. I'll wait for you when you get back."

I didn't really have time to argue with him, so I ran as fast as possible to the nearest bathroom.

I figured I would at least pay my share after the movie was done.

I didn't even look at the cards when he handed it to me. Fifteen minutes after the boring commercials and trailers of new movies to come, my eyes bulged when instead of waiting for the comedy, the movie I least expect to watch appeared on the screen.

"I can't believe you!" I said shocked, and maybe a bit too loud.

"What, did you not want to see this?"

"No! I..."

Someone suddenly shushed us. God,I hate when people do that.

I lowered my voice. "I did, but you didn't have to do that. You'll get bored. It lasts two hours, you know?"

He shrugged, giving me his soft smile. "Maybe I won't. I saw how much you were entranced by the trailer, so...and eventually, I had to find out why is this movie so popular with the ladies. After this night, I guess I'll know." He grinned.

I didn't know what else to say to him, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I hugged him and said the only thing I thought of: "Thank you. You know, the dude that plays a leading role actually looks a lot like you."

"Is that so?"

"Mhhhhhmmm." I grinned.

"Let's watch it then." He turned his head away from me then, but not before he lifted my hand, giving my knuckles a soft kiss.

During the movie, you could say that I was in some kind of a trance, but every once in a while, I would take a peek at Edward, and it seemed that every time that I did that, he had a smirk on his face, watching the movie, but not really. I think he had his own thoughts on his mind.

I would squeeze his hand a bit tighter when I saw the wedding, the beautiful wedding dress, maybe even had a few tears in my eyes. ( Yeah, I was a bit emotional, I admit) and felt a bit uncomfortable watching the honeymoon scenes while being so close to Edward. I also tried not to drool, but it was done so quickly that I didn't really had the time. Still, I did a good job all in all in not embarrassing myself. _I think_.

But no matter what the scenes were, our hands were always entwined, touching. Soothing.

Well, the soothing thing was all him. Not that I minded.

Two hours and fifteen min later, we were at my door apartment saying goodbye. This was also a part I never liked. Kiss him, or not to kiss him? Would it be too forward? Maybe just a kiss on the cheek? Or maybe just a hug in the end? Shit. See? Talk about being undecided, or even misunderstood.

And if indeed we_ do_ kiss, will he expect something more? And if not tonight, when? How soon?

"I had a nice time with you tonight."

I teased him. "Really? Was that before of after the movie?"

He shrugged, a soft smile on his face. "I wasn't watching the movie that much anyway. Although I see the appeal of the movie."

"Really?"I asked enthusiastically, yet sounding a bit sarcastic.

He shook his head. "No, not really," then suddenly gave a throaty chuckle. I joined in.

After few more chuckles he slowly moved his hand upward, towards my face, touching my cheek. I leaned into his hand. He smiled at me before his own face got close.

This is it, I thought. He was going to kiss me.

And even though I never liked this: will he won't he—the anticipation of the first kiss was sometimes even better than the kiss itself.

Not in this case though, because it wasn't my lips he was kissing, but rather,my forehead. He lingered for a few moments longer, before pulling away. It felt nice, feeling his lips and the warmness of his body close to mine, yet,it was not...enough?

"Good night Bella."

I nodded with a small smile, before going inside. "Goodnight Edward. Sweet dreams."

* * *

**So what do you say about the chapter?...just to warn you, not everything will be sickly sweet. So, hold on tight soon for some drama.**


	6. Chapter 6

**SM owns everything. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 6**

The week that followed was the same as always. Except Alice. After I told her about the date I had with Edward, she could not stop annoying me with constant questions. And at the speed she was talking, I couldn't even understand the half of them. Then came her 'advices' about me dressing up better. Like what I was wearing every day wasn't already commented by her. Yep, every little piece of clothes would, no, _could not_ be worn if it wasn't Alice approved. And this is one of the things we would never agree on. But then her usual response would follow. "Bella, fashion changes daily. Every month. Now, get dressed and let's go shopping. I just saw the _cutest_ little dress the other day that you would look great in it."

And yeah, after buying a thing or two, we stopped for a latte. But we didn't get the dress, of course. Even the clothes that I wore daily to work, I would feel too exposed. More covered, the better was my current motto. Although, most of the time, at least where I work, the coworkers would call my style sense quite modest.

So when I came home, I had hands full of bags with new clothes. And one ridiculously short black skirt that Alice knew I would never wear but made me buy it anyway. She didn't care. Her only response was a wink, followed with an explanation how I should be grateful that she was able to take me on her day off to the mall, and that once I wear it for Edward, he will be more than grateful that I had bought it. I just rolled my eyes. If you ask me, that is just another piece of clothing that will never be worn.

* * *

"Knock, knock."

"Hey. Hungry?"

"Yep. You ready?" he asked, but I had no time to answer because that slut Lauren didn't even gave me a chance before she came standing next to Edward, trying to fuck up our plans.

"Hey Eddie dear, I just need you to sign this."

"I'll do that later Lauren, after the lunch break."

"No! You can't! It's very important. If you don't then..."

She kept persuading him, and he kept politely declining her, but it was obvious he wasn't in the mood today to talk to her. Especially on an empty stomach. Hungry Edward is a nasty Edward. At some point, the vein on his forehead was getting bigger and bigger, pulsing more and more by the second. He would never say what was on his mind though. But I would. I did.

I got up from my desk, and stood right in front of her. Looking at her ugly face made me even angrier.

"Lauren? Hi. Since Edward here is too polite to say to you to fuck off, I will. Since you don't know me well, nor have you been willing to _ever know me_ since you came here, let me tell you this;you don't want to mess with me, trust this, because I have figured you out from the start. Edward doesn't nor ever _will _want you, because he chose to actually hang out with someone who is unlike you- a whining, stalking bitch who doesn't even give a human being a chance to even go to the freaking toilet, and why? Are you really that pathetic to see the dude's dick so you can brag around and make rumors that you finally fucked in the bathroom? I mean, _who does that_? You would probably not even understand when somebody is not interested even if he screams it out loud to you. So for your sake, it would be better to deal with the fact that he chose me, yes, _me_ instead of _you_, okay?So go get those papers out of our faces, and run to your little desk before I shoved them up your ass. "

She just glared, stunned at my little speech. She wasn't the only one though.

"Okay, so now that we have finally resolved this, would you please move you ass out of our way so we can finally get something to eat before our lunch break ends?"

She was still wordless, but getting red in the face by the second. I didn't give a fuck anymore. I took Edward's hand and pulled him towards the exit.

* * *

"You alright?" I asked. All through the walk to the diner, and even during the breakfast, he didn't say a word, which was very unusual for him. He always had something to say.

Edward just nodded.

I sighed. He still looked a bit shocked by my words, including half of the company that overheard my conversation with that skank.

"Look, I only did that because it was obvious that you were too polite to say anything."

He looked at me, frowning.

"I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just...she had it coming. Three years that...that menace of a woman spreading rumors about me, for no apparent reason, and today just ...I couldn't stand it anymore."

He nodded, and a minute later spoke again. He was actually smirking. "You really like me, don't you?"

_What?_

I frowned.

"Oh, admit it. I know you do."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He was still grinning. "Oh come on, you were ready to fight her right there for me, weren't you? Admit it. You were afraid I would choose her over you, so you went all lioness on her."

"What? I just protected you. Nothing else. And...if I went a little overboard it was because, well...she had it coming."

Edward shrugged casually, the cocky smirk still there."Sure."

"You know, the first few times you showed me that smirk, it was kind of cute, but now, it's just annoying. You should stop it."

"Really?"

"Yep. See... there it is again."

"I'll tell you this: I'll stop showing it if you admit that you like me...that's all."

"I don't go on dates with just about anybody."

"Now,I'm flattered, but that still isn't what I want."

"Which would be?"

The smirk turned into a chuckle.

"Oh Bella, Bella, let's not play games. But since I'm such a nice guy, I'm willing to forget it if you do something for me."

"And that would be?"

"One kiss?"

"Kiss?"

He grinned. "Yes, one tiny little kiss?"

"Now?"

He liked where this conversation was going.

"Well,that's up to you."

"Let's pay the bill first."

"I'll do that. I am as you called me _a gentleman_, after all."

"I don't think I did."

"Maybe you should start then." Then winked.

"There's that cocky smirk again."

He laughed. "Wait for me outside, I'll be there in a sec."

After we walked back from the diner, in silence,no one said anything. I wouldn't call the current silence weird, or uncomfortable, on the contrary. I discovered a new side, a playful one from Edward today, and as much as I liked bickering with him, I found that I liked both sides of him—the playful, confident side he was hiding before, and the serious,business side.

Just before entering inside the building he stopped me, pulling my hand towards him.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you for standing up for me today." This time,there was no trace of humor on his face. He was 100% serious.

"No problem. It was the least I could do."

"You forgot about the kiss you owe me." There was a small smile stretching across his face.

I smiled too. "Oh no, I'm saving that for special occasions. It's a surprise."

"Yeah? Don't tell me you're gonna do it in front of Lauren, just to make her jealous, now are you?" The smirk appeared again.

"I wasn't really planing on it but since you mentioned it..."

He started rubbing his hand, one against another. "There is gonna be a chick fight today isn't it?"

"You're watching TV way too much."

"But what if she insults me? I need your feistiness..."

I rolled my eyes. "That was one time only. I'm fairly sure she will keep her distance from the both of us, from now on."

"Well, whatever it was, the lioness thing was hot. You should get angry like that more often." He said with a wink and went back to his office, looking me once more with a smile before closing his office door.

* * *

After showering, making myself something to eat, I finally sat in front of a couch, talking with Alice about today. She went insane, talking so much and so fast I wasn't able to even get out a single word. She started talking about how she was proud of me for standing up to Lauren. After that, she started talking about me and Edward making our life plans, including our engagement, wedding and even the number of our future children. I could do nothing but listen. Arguing with her while she was this hyper never was an option. That was something I learned long time ago. After finally saying goodbye and hanging up the phone ( thank you Jasper!) I was trying to watch TV when a phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Edward. What are you doing right now?"

"Nothing special. You?"

"The same. Wanna go for a walk?"

"It's a little dark outside."

"I'll protect you if you're scared." I could just picture that little smirk of his.

"I'm not, but it's almost ten. It's a little late."

"Oh come on, are you really gonna choose TV over me?"

"I don't know, re runs sound pretty good to me now, better than taking a walk in the cold."

"I can pick you up then with my car."

"If you do, then that won't quite be a walk, would it now?"

"Okay, smarty pants. Whatever, I'm picking you up in front of your place in fifteen minutes. So you better get dressed, and get down, 'cause I'm taking no for an answer."

"But..."

"No buts."

"Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise. Fifteen minutes Bella." Then he hanged up.

I didn't really feel like going anywhere but I knew he can be a stubborn person, and when he decides on something, there is no way in hell anybody can talk him out of it.

So I quickly decided on wearing the first thing that I saw.

Fifteen minutes later, just like he said, his car was in front of the building.

"Hey."

"Hi. Where are we going?"

He smiled. "It's a surprise."

I frowned. "You know I hate surprises."

He grinned. "I do now. But I think you will like this one. It's a good thing you brought your scarf and gloves, you're gonna need them."

"Why?"

He smirked."You're really nosy,you know that? You'll see soon."

"Ugh. Why did you even call me then? You know I hate not knowing."

"Why wouldn't I? It never maybe occurred to you that I like hanging out with you?"

"Oh," was I all I could say.

The rest of the ride was silent. It didn't take us much to where we headed anyway. Just a few minutes.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see. Come on."

We were approaching this huge old building that I have seen a few times but never really payed any attention.

And when he opened the door, I finally realized his plans.

"Ice skating?Really?"

He grinned, like he was proud of his plan. "Yeah. You like it?"

"Well, I guess, but there are two things that are missing at the moment."

"What?"

"Well, first, we don't have any skates, and certainly not our size, and second, I really don't know how to skate. And even if I do, which I'm sure you realized this past few weeks when hanging out with me;I'm kind of a klutz."

He smirked. "No worries. On both accounts. Didn't you say you wanted to learn to skate?Well, now is your chance. Come on, I'll help you. You can't be that bad at it.

He was wrong though. I was. Really, _really_ bad. At one point it actually looked like I was getting better. Edward tried to teach me, but that mostly consisted of holding me up right as strongly as he could so I could keep my balance. Like I said before, it started to look good, I had some good moments, yet minutes later, I quickly lost balance and somehow fell on Edward,hurting his male region.

The rest of the night I was apologizing to him while he kept the ice pack on his crotch, moaning every so often. Every moan of his would led to me apologizing over and over.

After at least half and hour, and eating the sandwiches he made, (peanut butter and jelly) we were on our way home.

"Thank you for tonight. It was nice."

He smiled. "I told you. But if you agree, let's not do this again. _Ever_."

I laughed. "Deal." Then I kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled. "What was that for?"

"Something I owed you since this morning, and also for having a good time. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Well, good night."

"Good night."

But still, we were both still looking at each other, not moving an inch. I bit my lip and realized he was looking right at them. I couldn't stop myself from lightly licking them, and he mimicked the movements. Our faces came closer inch by inch. I didn't know if this was a good idea but all I wanted right now is to kiss him.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this." He whispered while still moving closer to me.

"We better not."

But we did. And it was the sweetest, softest kiss I could remember having since...probably ever.

It was a chaste kiss, but at the same time probably the most tentative I had in years. His right hand on my cheek, slowly brushing his thumb softly against my cheek a few times, before taking my lower lip softly between his, twice more, before backing away.

I sighed, opening my eyes to look at him licking his lips once more, tasting still some ting of peanut butter from both of us, smiling gently.

"Well, that was...nice," he said, sounding a bit husky before clearing his throat.

"Yeah."

"You want me to walk you to the door?"

I smiled. "No need."

"Oh. Okay. Well...good night."

"Night Edward."

I kissed him once more on the cheek before stepping out of the car, and closing the door behind me.

* * *

**Next chapter, prepare for some drama.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**SM owns everything. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 7**

The day after, Edward and I both acted like any professional co workers would, no matter what the rumors said- -that no doubt were initiated by Jessica Stanley. The behavior between Edward and me outside of work was different, although not that much. There was no PDA, just casually holding hands.

Thankfully, it was Friday, so in only few hours I would have a weekend all to myself. Well, not entirely as Edward would be spending it with me as well. We had no special plans, except for going to dinner, and it was the first time in a long time that I felt comfortable in his presence,-or generally in a presence of a man- enough to stop thinking or panicking about every little detail. Or what could or would happen.

As I was finally putting my coat, getting ready to finally go home, Jess walked right by me, giving me the stink eye. _Like I cared_.

"Hey, you ready?"

I smiled at him. "Yep. Let's go."

* * *

"I really had a nice time," I spoke quietly, a smile on my face.

"I did too." Slowly, he approached me even closer, slightly licking his lips, taking ever so lightly my lower lip in his. I reciprocated quite eagerly. Along the way, I could feel his touch ever so lightly on my lower back, ever so slowly, making his hands go higher, and higher, moving his hands to my hips, stomach, my ribs, and going higher. I tried to convince myself it was just Edward. That his touch was different. That it won't do me no harm. But all I could think is him. _His_ hands. _His_ touch. _His cruel laugh_.

_No!No!No!_

"No! Stop! Don't fucking _touch me_!"

Screaming and with a speed I never thought I possessed, I moved away from Edward, involuntarily slapping him on the face.

The shock on our faces were both evident.

I covered my mouth with my hands, gasping.

"Oh, god! I'm so so_ so_ sorry."

He said nothing. Still standing there, in shock. Not moving an inch. After a few excruciating moments, he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I...I better go. Good night."

* * *

After getting to my apartment and locking the door, I quickly stumbled into my bedroom, taking my clothes off, eyes blurry from the tears that were currently falling down my face.

As I went into the bathtub, I filled it with warm water, taking a washcloth, scrubbing my skin so much that I started to bleed,even forming a few bruises in a couple of places that I knew it would only look worse tomorrow. Momentarily, I just wanted to feel clean, to remove all the dirtiness I felt, to remove the evidence of the fact that he ever had any kind of contact over my body.

As I was scrubbing myself for who knows how long, all the strength, the bitterness and anger, suddenly left my body, only leaving me with shame, and sadness, as I rocked over and over, water that was by now cold, sloshing over my floor tiles, making me shed warm, salty tears against my pale cheeks.

* * *

After grabbing the first clothes I found, I took the car keys in my hand, and closed the door of my apartment behind me, going to one place I knew I would feel safe.

"Hi dear, bad day?"

I had no strength to talk so I just nodded.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Something to eat?"

I shook my head.

"Did something happen? With Edward?"

The tears started to flow again, for the tenth time this evening.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?" Siobhan asked, sitting in the booth right next to me, putting her arms around me.

I hugged her as hard as I could, weeping on her shoulder.

"Bella, you're starting to worry me here. Tell me what happened. Please." Siobhan pleaded. I finally removed my head from her body, sniffing a couple of times,trying to clear my throat.

"I screwed up _everything_. Don't know why I fooled myself into thinking this would work out. Maybe because I really, truly like him. Because for the first time in a _very_ long time I found someone who is not just sweet, who understands what I'm going through and trying not to rush me, who is so very patient with me but is also...so...so kind...and...I just...I kissed him, and then...his hands...I slapped him..."

"Honey, blow your nose, wipe away those pretty eyes, and explain it to me one more time 'cause I can't understand what you're trying to say."

Blowing my nose, twice, I took a deep breath, and told Siobhan everything.

"Oh hon, it's not your fault, nor is his."

"It is.I...I wanted for Edward to touch me, but as soon as he did all I could think about is...is _him_. And I don't want to. Not anymore. I...I thought the therapy was going well, then I met Edward...it was going so well...then in one evening, I blew it all away. And he just...walked away. You should have seen the look on his face..." The moisture started to gather up again.

"He'll never forgive me. And I don't blame him. I won't blame him even if he decides to just give up. It would be better for him if..."

"Hon, I'm sure that he will forgive you. It was just a slap. And after what you all went through, he'll understand. He's a good guy Bella. So don't give this up on this. You have to talk to him, explain. You deserve being happy as much as any person on this world. Now, promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"I see how much that boy makes you happy. So, just stop feeling sorry for yourself and talk to him. Work it out. Every good relationship needs a lot of work, and I know you two can do it, make it work, no matter how hard it will be. How many obstacles you will have on your way."

I nodded, biting my lip, staring into far away. "You're right. I promise."

She smiled. "Good."

I stayed at the diner until the dawn, because I knew I would never go back to sleep, and the least I wanted was to be surrounded by darkness, and my four depressing walls.

* * *

I was currently cleaning my already spotless kitchen, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Jasper. Listen, I need you to come to the hospital, Alice needs you."

"Is it the baby?" I ask, worried.

"Please, as soon as you can," he pleaded, not answering my question.

"I will. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

After dressing up quickly into another jeans and a black shirt, I came to the hospital, finding out that over the morning Alice complained about the pain in her stomach, only to find herself after a few minutes bleeding out. They both panicked, and drove her to the hospital.

* * *

As I was entering the room, I saw Jasper sitting right next to her, holding her hand, murmuring soft words, trying to soothe her. Seeing Alice lying on the bed, sad, tiny and helpless was the opposite of the person I usually saw, knew.

"Hey, Ally, I'm here...you okay?" I asked as I hugged her. She hugged me back just as eager, still shedding silent, small tears.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey Jazz."

"How are you?" I asked both of them as she let me go, but only Alice answered.

She sniffed, wiping her tears away. "I'm fine, just got really scared. When I saw that blood...I just...I didn't want to lose this baby..."

"You won't...you haven't." Jasper spoke quietly but strongly.

I nodded, agreeing with him. "You just have to take care of yourself, no more shopping, no more going to work, and the most important of all, no stressing."

"I know."

I sighed. "Okay. good. You want me to stay some more...or get you something..."

"No need. You should rest. You look like you haven't slept at all. Go home, sleep, Jasper will keep me company."

"She's right. See you tomorrow."

"You sure?" I asked, uncertain.

"Yes. Go." Alice said, giving me a small smile.

* * *

As I was getting out of Al's room, I saw the person I at least expected. Edward.

Sitting in the waiting room, removing his head from his hands, his eyes never straying from mine, watching me carefully,as I was approaching him.

"Hi," he spoke quietly.

"Hi."

"Listen Bella..."

"Edward I..." we spoke at the same time.

He smiled just a tiny bit, letting me continue.

"What are you doing here?" was my first question.

"I've been invited to breakfast at the Whitlock's, so after they both started to freak out about Al's situation, I gave them a lift. Is she gonna be okay?"

"She'll be fine, but she'll have to go to the maternity leave earlier than planned and rest during the pregnancy. Take care of herself better for the baby."

"Right. That's good. Listen Bella, about last night, I'm sorry..."

"Stop, it's not your fault. It's mine. I know I shouldn't have reacted like that. I...I wanted you to, you know...touch me...I didn't mind... I craved it,just...my mind was playing tricks on me. And I hate that, the moment you touched me,all I could think was...was..."

"You don't have to explain..."

"I do, just I..."

"Can't right now," he added.

"Yes, but I will, soon, I promise."

"I can wait." he said calmly with a small smile." And I'm sorry too. I should have known not to do that, it's just that well...I got a little carried away." the tip of his ears actually blushed a little.

I smiled. "Apology accepted."

"Good." He smiled too.

The slight smile on my face quickly turned into a deep yawn.

He looked at my face a few moments before speaking up. "You haven't got a lot of sleep yesterday have you?"

_More like not sleeping at all._

"Not really." I answered.

"I can give you a ride home, if you want?" he asked, insecure.

"How about brunch first?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Good. Great. Let's go."

* * *

After stuffing ourselves with food, we ended up in my apartment, watching TV on my couch.

In the middle of watching re runs of_ Scrubs_, I fell asleep, finding myself squirming in my comfy bed.

I got up, in search of something to drink, when I saw Edward,lying on the couch. He looked relaxed, and so young in his sleep. Without a care in the world. After getting him another blanket, from the bedroom, I couldn't resist giving him a small kiss on the forehead before moving to the kitchen and getting a glass of water.

* * *

It was a middle of the night when I woke up with a scream, my hands instantly hugging my knees, putting my face deeply between them, letting the silent sobs rip trough me.

Edward called my name, walking instantly into my room. I could feel his presence as soon as he sat next to me.

"Bella? You okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

I just nodded.

He slowly removed my hands from the knees, lifting my tear stained face.

"Was it about ..."

We both knew what he meant.

"Yes," I answered,groggily.

"Come here." He spoke, compassion and pity on his face.

I quickly hugged him around his shoulders, strongly, taking his manly scent in through my nose, putting my head into his nook. It helped a little.

He was hesitant at first about touching me, but after a few moments, he lightly and ever so slowly-probably not to frighten me, testing the waters-put his hands around my body, rubbing my back soothingly, saying over and over that it was just just a dream. That I'm safe, here, with him. That he won't let anybody hurt me anymore. Never again. And I believed him.

* * *

**So, yes, I know I still haven't revealed the whole story about how exactly was Bella attacked. I will though; soon. :)**

**Thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Folks, remember the first chapter, where there was a mention of Jake? Well, I sort of wanted to lead you on the wrong track, for you to think it was Jake's fault for what happened to Bella, but it wasn't. Anyway, if you want to find out, this is your chapter. It will explain a lot of stuff.**

******SM owns everything. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 8**

"I saw Jacob today."

"You did? Tell me about it," my therapist, Chelsea asked, persistently.

"Well..."

_It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, warm too, even the current wind that was blowing lightly against my face was a welcome. Edward and I were taking a little walk, holding hands,chatting with a smile on our faces. The "freak out" - or well, maybe emotional breakdown would be a better explanation—had happened two weeks ago, and neither of us had since than said anything about it. As much as I didn't like that Edward had been holding back- more so than usual- I also appreciated for him giving me space. We slowed it down, and I'm not talking about the kisses on the lips, no; he would give me pecks on the cheek, forehead, even on the eyelids, but never on the lips. I dreamed of those lips, for days, recreating the day how it felt to touch, and taste them - and every time he would get too close to me- I would get my hopes up that _this time_, it would be different- that this minute, this moment right now, will be filled with sweet touches and small delicious, kisses. The kisses that would make me smile; even giggle,make me sigh happily, and get lost in my own world, for just a moment or two._

_But it never happened. His lips would always get past mine, and settle for less. I could see that in his eyes, he felt the same, could see the poorly disguised want in his eyes. _

_So we both pretended to be a normal couple, just for today, leaving all of our trouble behind. And in that exact point did another past trouble found me._

_"Bella?"_

_"Hey Jake. How are you? Haven't seen you in a long time." A small, polite smile on my face,acting brave while my heart was doing a loud, frightening rhythm, constantly, over and over._

_"I know. You look very...good. Happy."_

_He observed the man standing next to me, cautiously exploring us, the stance between Edward and me, and our entwined fingers, that I tightened around Edward's more and more by the second. He gripped mine back, in way that would say something like "I'm right here."_

_A throat was cleared. _

_"Um, Jake this is Edward...Edward, Jake."_

_"The boyfriend," Edward clarified, shaking Jake's hand._

_It was the first time I heard him using that word, at least in my presence. And I kind of liked it. A lot.  
_

_Awkward silence. Staring contest between two males. _

_"So, how's the shop?" I asked, interrupting the constant awkward looks the boys passed toward each other._

_"Oh, I don't work there anymore. I opened my own."_

_"That's great Jake."_

_He nodded, agreeing with me. "Yeah."_

_"You? Still working in the same Company?"_

_I smiled. "Yeah, I wouldn't leave Charlie. He's a great boss." One that I always felt and looked as a father more than other assholes my mom married, and later, divorced. And there were plenty. At least she found Phil. He seemed nice._

_Silence. _

_"Well, I should get going..." he spoke slowly._

_"Yeah."_

_"It was nice seeing you Bell...take care."_

_"I will."_

_"Well...bye..." _

_And with an awkward stance, he left._

_"So... who was that, if I might ask?"_

_I exhaled deeply. "Can we talk about it later? Maybe, at home? No point of ruining the rest of this beautiful day."_

_Edward wasn't quite satisfied with the response I gave him, but let it go._

_"Okay, later."_

"So how did you feel seeing him?"

"I don't know...I've forgiven him, and I know it wasn't his fault what happened, but I still at times resent him for not trusting me... not believing in me when I tried to explain that his best friend was the one that raped me. And maybe part of it was my fault still. If hadn't kept my mouth shut about James constantly hitting on me, maybe the whole thing would have never happened."

"Or maybe, it would..." she interrupted. "You can't read people's mind Bella. You can't know their intentions or thoughts, or even their decisions,only they can. Every decision has a consequence, and James paid for his."

My voice was quiet. "But maybe, just maybe, if...if I hadn't used that gun..."

"And what? Shot him? Bella, you were just defending yourself, every woman has a right to do that. If you didn't ,you probably wouldn't even stand here, in front of me at this very moment. You would be lying under the stone grave somewhere right now. You did what you had to do."

I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I know... but if..."

"No if's. Your only job is to look and focus on the presence, on the now, not the past, it won't do you any good. Remember : Look towards the future..."

"Not past," I interjected. "I know."

"Good. Now, did you tell Edward about Jake, like you promised?"

I bit my lip.

"Bella?" Chelsea called, narrowing her eyes.

"No," I whispered.

"Why not?"

I exhaled tiredly. Talking to my shrink would always mentally exhaust me.

"Edward has been...great, supporting, kind and everything that I would look for in a guy if had known what to look, but I just...I was trying to avoid it, for as long as possible. To live in my denial bubble. My safety bubble. Or just wasn't ready. I guess most of all because I'm scared...scared what he will think of me. I know that's selfish.I'll...tell him tonight."

She just nodded,satisfied. "Fear can be a bad thing, I agree, it can hold you back, and unnerve you but on occasion, even something to push you forward, to keep you on the track you were heading. And the only way to conquer your fears is to face them head on.

* * *

The door bell rang.

"Hey."

"Hi. Come in."

"So why did you call me.?You sounded pretty urgent on the phone."

"Sit down please. Would you like some coffee?Tea? Juice?"

"No I'm fine."

I cleared my throat nervously, sitting next to Edward on the couch.

"I have been behaving really selfish today, and immature. I was avoiding to tell you about Jacob, cause well...it's not my favorite story to tell. And I was very afraid..."

"You don't have to explain..."

"I do..."

"Although it would have been nice to know more." He interrupted.

I gave a tight smile.

"And you will." Another sigh. "I really like you Edward, a lot. And, I'm just scared if, no—_when-_ I tell you, you'll run away."

"Hey, that's not gonna happen," he said, taking my hand, squeezing it lightly. "You're stuck with me Swan."

I returned his smile with a sad one of my own, and started to tell my life story.

"See, Jake was my fiance. We were high school sweethearts. And very happy. I never liked his best friend James, where they met in college,mostly because he fucked and flirted with anything that had ass and boobs. He flirted with me too, a lot of times, but I never told Jake that. Mostly because I suspected that he wouldn't take me seriously, or would just dismissively wave his hand in a gesture that would mean something like "that's nothing, James always does shit like that."

"I still wondered if it would change anything if I did. Maybe not.

Anyway, we were at this party someone unimportant organized, and were all drinking, me the least since I had the job of driving us home that night. I just needed some fresh air, and to be honest, I was never much of a party girl, so I found Jake and told him about going out for some fresh air. He was so drunk by then he probably didn't even understood what I said, but nodded anyway.

After a minute, I decided to walk back to the car that was parked a block away since the parking lot in front of the house was freaking full, and the only space that we could find without paying was a few minutes away. Anyway to shorten the story, James followed me, and... raped me. I...I tried...really tried to...to...stop him but..."

The tears were falling softly against my face. Edward hushed me, hugging me with his big hands, his masculine scent flowing around me,trying to stop me from telling the complete story, but I wasn't having that. After removing myself from him, I continued.

"He kept threatening me over and over -while violating me- a knife on my throat; that he will kill me if I dare to say one word to anyone. I promised I wouldn't say anything,and I begged and begged for him to let me go, but he wouldn't...it was obvious he wasn't planing on letting me live, no matter what I said.

I didn't even know how I even succeed in taking his gun while the knife was still on my throat—all I know is that I took it and just started to shoot..once...twice...three times; all through his chest. I don't know how long I wondered around the streets,or even finding myself sitting in front of the station, until a police officer, a woman named Leah found me and brought me inside.

The worst part wasn't the nightmare I experienced-or the depression, shame, guilt, anger- over the months, no; the worst part was that Jake didn't even trust me when I told him that the reason I hadn't came back to the party was because I was raped, and none other than by his best friend.

"Fucking asshole..." Edward muttered, anger noticeable in his voice.

"We tried to work it out, but Jake's constant asking for sex... I couldn't stand it. And that was another thing that bothered him. A few months later, he confessed that he cheated on me, and I realized that even though I should have been pissed or at least angry at him, I was anything other than that. It didn't bother me, I was just totally and completely indifferent. That night we broke up. I moved to stay at Al's place until I found one of my own, that I could actually afford. And...that's about it."

"So, what happened next... was there a trial?...James?"

"No. James was...dead, the evidence of rape was enough to prove what I did was in self defense, so the case was closed. And now that you know..."

He sighed, a little frustrated. "I already told you, I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me."

"Okay." The remark was sarcastic. The similar word Jake used often, trying to make me feel better, to support me. Only until few months later, he was fed up, and left. Just like Edward might some day.

"Don't you trust me? I'm not like him. Jacob nor that fucking dick-wad James."

"I trust you-_more than you know_- I do, but you know me, I'm a big pessimist, and was just preparing for the worst when I finally tell you."

"What? Like me leaving you? Fat chance. I couldn't leave even if I tried. And Bella, I'd never try."

The truth from his mouth couldn't be denied. It was written all over his determined face, and his eyes. His big bright, beautiful, honest, green eyes.

"And just so you know," he spoke, leaning closer to me, putting a strand of hair over my ear, before taking my face in his hands, rubbing it lightly with his thumb. "I really like you too."

_Good_, I thought. And with that, I took the first step, putting my lips over his. He didn't object.


	9. Chapter 9

**t was very hard for me to write this particular chapter. Besides the writer's block I had, and being very sick, I spend a lot of time writing and re writing this chapter. Over and over again. I'm still not quite happy with it, but...here it is.**

**Chapter 9**

"Hey Swan, haven't seen you in a while." Rose spoke as she sat next to me.

"Correction. I come here every week, it's you who disappeared without a trace."

"So, anything new in your life? How's it going with Edward?"

"Fine."

"But..."she continued.

I sighed. "Edward is great, he really is...we seem to have a lot in common, but relationships can't survive on just talk and understanding. And the only thing that is stopping us from a healthy physical relationship is me."

"Oh, honey...you have to take your time. What you went through...it's not something meaningless, just a thing you can walk away. You have to take your time."

"I know. And we have been doing that, but nothing is helping. He is struggling, I can see it. I am too, but for him...I think it's so much worse. I mean, he can't even touch me properly, and as soon as he does...I just... freeze. And all that exercise crap that my shrink helps me with doesn't really help.

And then to make it worse, we ran into Jake..."

"_Hold on!?_ You saw _Jacob_?"

"Yep. Edward was with me. We were talking a walk and just saw each other. Edward introduced himself as my boyfriend..." the memory of that moment was still fresh, and it made me smile for just a bit, spreading warmth through my body.

"Aww...And?" she prompted.

"We talked a bit, and well, awkward and short as it was, I guess it wasn't that bad seeing him."

"Does Edward know about.."

"Yes. I told him everything. And yes, I had to admit, as pessimistic as I am, I waited and stalled for a long time to tell him everything because I was scared...scared that once I tell him, he would walk away without a thought and leave me. But he didn't. He stayed. With me. _For_ me."

"Because he likes you, you dumb-ass."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Yeah, yeah, and I like him too."

Rose smiled, patting me on the shoulder. " You'll make it work...I know you will."

I nodded, mostly for her benefit. "So, how was your week? Where did you ran off?"

She looked away suddenly, and wait...did she just...

"Rosalie Lilian Hale, did you just blush?"

"No!" she shouted, but the color of her cheeks reddened even further.

This was a surprise. Truthfully, I knew Rose only for a few months, but never in my life did I see her blush. Ever.

"Is this about some guy? That Emmerson guy you went out? I waited for you to call me that night, but you never did."

"It's Emmett actually."

"I see. So how was it?"

"Well, terrible at first. He was acting like such an asshole. So five minutes in to the date, I got up and was about to leave out the door when he stopped me, apologizing profusely, saying that after getting out of a fresh 7 year old divorce, he really didn't know how to date or even behave on one anymore, so after we came back to the restaurant he actually behaved like a gentleman. An hour later, he drove me back to my place..."

I interrupted her, teasing, a grin on my face. "Let me guess, you invited him in, he said yes, and then you threw yourself on him, and had crazy monkey sex."

She laughed. "I wish. He actually didn't want to come in, saying some bullshit reason about how he had a nice time, but would like to take things slow between us. A lame excuse. Just as bad when you call a guy upstairs and he tries to get away with a lie about how late it is, and that he has to go to work tomorrow.

What surprised me is that Emmett _actually called_ the next day, and we had brunch. I took a few days off, and he took me to his yacht. It was fucking huge."

I laughed at the innuendo.

She rolled her eyes, laughing herself.

"So...then?"

"He took me to his little deserted cottage in the middle of nowhere, where we..."

"Monkey sex?"

"Can you stop interrupting me for just one second? Jeez, and you say I'm the one who's a pervert."

I grinned, and motioned for her to go on.

"There were no sexy times, but some other things... transpired." Then she gave a dreamy sigh. "You should see him Bella. The guy is all tall, with a 6 pack, and those huge hands of his? Let's just say he sure knows how to show a lady a good time." Then she winked, laughing at my disgusted face.

"Well...good for you," I muttered.

* * *

"Hello?"

"You must be reading my mind," he spoke, and I could almost sense the grin stretching momentarily over his gorgeous face.

My own smile appeared. "Why is that?"

"Because I was just thinking about you. And just when I was about to call you..."

"Your phone ranged." I finished.

The grin was still there. "Exactly."

"Well, there is a reason why I called you, not just to hear your voice."

"Because you missed me?" he teased.

I did though, but telling him that, I only knew all too well how much he liked for his ego to be stroked. How his smug, cocky smirk would appear on his cute, adorable face.

"Actually, I was thinking of making some dinner and thought..."

"Done. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I laughed at his eagerness. "Okay. See ya soon."

* * *

After stuffing ourselves with food, we both made ourselves comfortable on the couch, sitting next to each other, his left hand on the sofa, while still leaning lightly on my shoulder.

"Bella?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Listen, I've been doing some research of my own about...well, you see..."

I removed my eyes from the TV to see why he sounded so nervous, and why whatever he was about to say unnerved him so much that his voice shivered ever so lightly. I turned off the TV, completely turning my body to him, ready to listen to whatever he had to say.

He opened his mouth to say whatever he had on his mind, but didn't let out a sound. Instead he leaned and kissed me. Light. Once. Twice. Before opening his eyes, looking at me seriously yet, still just a bit nervous.

"Like I said...I have been doing some small research on..well... shit,how can I say this without sounding like a perv?"

He sighed momentarily, rubbing his eyes.

"Just tell me."

"See, I was thinking of doing a bit of an...exercise... you can say."

"What kind of an exercise?"

"Well, I realized that there are some particular places where I can touch you without you being...overwhelmed. Like your face, or your hands. But I would like to explore it a little more. To see how well you respond to my touch. Sort of like a map, to remember the positive and the negative, where I could or couldn't even think of going near.

"I...guess that's not such a bad idea."

"But only if you want to try. You know I would never push you to do something that you wouldn't feel comfortable with or..."

My hand found itself on his face, my thumb moving over his cheek softly, trying to remove this sudden nervousness he was in. To know that I really do trust him."No, I know that Edward. I know you would never hurt me...so...yes. I'm ready to try. But how will this help me..."

"I'm not saying it will. I'm not a doctor or a shrink. It's just an experiment, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay. Now, how shall we proceed?"

"Just close your eyes. Relax. Think of your happy place."

I did exactly what he asked, closed my eyes and started to breathe. In. Out. And again, until I started to feel myself being comfortable, relaxed.

"Okay, now, If any of this begins to be uncomfortable to you, just yell, or say stop, and we'll end it on the spot , okay?"

I nodded.

"Don't try to be quiet just for my sake, or even hesitate to tell me anything...if it bothers you, no matter for what reason, no matter how tiny it is, just say it and we'll stop. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. Deal?"

"Yes."

Edward took both of my hands and pulled them closer to him, palms down on the couch, rubbing my arms slowly and soothingly up and down. After a few passes up my arms, he began working on my shoulders, massaging them ever so gently. I felt nothing alarming, no flashes, no nothing, just his smooth touch. As he worked up to my neck, rubbing his fingertips over my shoulders and way back, returning to my hands. He did that a few more times, from the knuckles to my neck. I was such at ease I could almost feel myself falling lightly asleep. Being true to his current method, he decided to finally try. Passing down my neck, collarbones, he ever so lightly-so light in fact that I barely felt it- put his fingers on my breasts.

"Stop," I yelled, tensing immediately. With just that little, light touch I got an irrational surge of instant panic that constricted my chest, gasping for air with the slightest tremble,wanting to remove as far from him as possible. But I didn't. Somehow I willed myself to stay in control.

"You okay?" he asked, removing his hands instantly behind his back.

"Yes. Let's try again."

"Again? You sure? I don't know if..."

"Yes, I'm sure Edward. Please." I said, this time leaning against his chest instead of the back of the sofa.

"Bella, this is not a quick fix or even something it could ease you or your phobia completely. You have to know this. It's just a small process, so don't be upset if it doesn't go well right away."

"I know. It's okay. Just...start again." I pleaded.

He seemed hesitant but seconds later, started again with the same routine.

Edward made six passes, doing the same thing as last time but buying a little more time with it then the last time. After the eight pass, he skipped on touching my shoulders, but lightly raking his fingers over my collar bones and chest, then quickly darted his fingers across my peaks. I instantly froze, yelling the word „stop" in a mildly frustrated tone.

"Maybe we should just stop for today."

"No. Just.. let's give it another shot. Instead of saying "stop", how about I choose a safe word. Maybe something like...actually nothing comes to my mind right now. You have any ideas?"

"Swan?"

I frowned. "Since when do you call me by my last name?"

He couldn't resist on smiling, just a bit. "I don't. I'm asking you what you think about the word "Swan"?"

I shook my head, not really liking that idea very much.

"That would be weird. Saying my name constantly...it won't work."

"Hm...vanilla?"

I had to grin at that.

"Seriously? Vanilla?"

"What's wrong with that?"

_Plenty, I thought._

"Nothing. Just...okay, vanilla."

Few moments later,he started with the same routine. Massaging my fingers, knuckles, arms, shoulders, neck. Doing it for quite some time, until just like the last time, he got pass my shoulders and neck, going closer to my breasts.

I yelled the safe word as he touched my peaks, slightly tense, but not nearly close as the first time. He removed his fingers, going for my hands, once again. Massaging me soothingly,his soft, warm hands doing the same constant routine over and over. Momentarily, it felt like just another massage, and by that point, I felt so relaxed that I didn't even tense when his hands came closer to my collarbone, and went straight to my peaks. And for the first time, I felt no tension, no fear, just his warm hands over my shirt touching me ever so lightly.I opened my eyes to see his hand on my breasts. Touching, but not exactly groping them.

As his eyes looked at mine, he stopped, not probably knowing what to do next.

"More," I whispered, closing my eyes.

So he did it once again, probably to make sure of my reaction,massaging my shoulders until lightly going straight over them. Once again, I said nothing, but a tiny smile on my lips appeared.

He repeated the procedure, this time increasing the pressure of his touch against my skin as he worked from my fingers to neck, then dragged his fingers down harder, yet slower over my peaks.

Again, I said nothing. Just sighed a bit, feeling something else for the first time in a long time that wasn't fear, but slight pleasure. And need. Need for his hands. For his touch.

He kept doing the same, with just a bit more pressure this time,every time firmer than the next.

After a few more passes of his hands over me, my breasts, he finally took them in his hands, his touch light as a feather. A slight moan escaped my lips.

I was enjoying in his touch so much, I almost didn't realize when he stopped, instantly removing them from my body.

As I looked at the clock, it seemed like the whole thing took about two hours. If not less.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just have to take a quick walk to the bathroom," he answered, taking a peek at his lap before quickly looking away.

Oh. In the midst of all this, I forgot about Edward, and just how much he was trying to focus on me and not his own pleasure.I guess I wasn't the only one who was enjoying this.

Even though I wanted for him to keep going, it didn't seem right for me to push us both more than we could handle right now. The progress that was made today would had to be enough.

"You going?" I asked as he was taking his coat,pushing his hands trough the holes of the sleeves.

"Yeah, it's getting a little late. Better get some sleep."

I walked him to the door, opening it for him.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Are you seriously thanking me for groping you?" he asked mockingly, a slight smile on his upper lip.

I smiled, even chuckled.

"No. Just...thanking you for...sticking around. For being patient with me. Not giving up."

The smile broadened. "You're welcome."

He gave me a light kiss, taking my lips in his, tasting them ever so slowly, gently, before wishing me a good night, and walking away.

**So what do you guys think about the chapter? Was it boring? Interesting?** **Neither?** **You can tell me. Reviews are always a welcome :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it's taking me so long to update...I have such difficulties writing Man down, unlike Una nouva vita, or even Crazy for you, so it's gonna take a bit longer before these characters get their ending. Hope you don't mind. :)  
**

**Anyway, I'll try to update more than just once or twice a month, but no guaranties...**

**And... let's get on with the show.**

**Oh, almost forgot...SM owns Twilight...bla bla bla. Not mine.**

**Mistakes are_ all mine_ though.**

Chapter 10

For the last few weeks I spent with Bella, I learned a lot. All of it had to be approached with care.

It was important to let her know that she was most of all not just safe, but in constant control, and doing everything on her own pace. We still continued with the same approach as it was my idea to begin with. To desensitize her slowly- and as the time goes by hopefully-completely.

It seemed to be days when neither was in the mood for it, wanting to just relax and act like any other normal couple. Yet, there were also days when we were both eager, impatient,which was not always a good thing, since the exercise was supposed be taken slow, with caution.

There were also a lot of days when we couldn't get any progress, both frustrated and horny like hell. At least that was what I have been. Not proud to say, but it was the truth. I really tried to focus on the progress, but as I touched her, constantly, day after day, her breasts in my palm as I groped them, couldn't help myself but to be, well...excited. _A lot_.

Back at home, as it seemed usual by now, I would quickly get into the shower, and fucking rub myself until I could feel my arm started to throb from pain. All those small sounds of pleasure she would make were enough for me to have a life time of spank-banks saved.

Everyday was different, so every factor that was involved at the end influenced on our moods and the never ending progress we tried to breach.

* * *

A month had passed- thirty freaking days- when I was finally able to touch her, without any panic attacks, any of the safe words spoken— or any twitching.

It was a big success yes, to touch her ever so completely,any part of her body—except one I hadn't still dared to touch...the one between her inner thighs. Mostly because because I feared the effect would be so much worse than any other part of her body. Still, over the month, all the process was done strictly over her clothes. Never under.

The safe words were changed often, Bella seeming to never like any of the ones I would suggest until she finally just decided on one that was a bit too wordy in my opinion but agreed on it nonetheless.

But tonight, I had a feeling all of that will go down the drain. Tonight will be just another day where we would both take another huge step forward. Or backwards.

As much as I was proud of her, for being so brave and persistent, in dealing with and fighting against her monsters step by step, I could still see her struggle to try and be that same person who she was before. Who she _still_ tries to be.

But what she didn't know, what I couldn't tell her, is that I didn't want for her to be that person anymore. Mostly because, back then, I didn't even know that person.

I knew this one, this quiet, modest, hardworking girl that was always ready to help, no matter what small insignificant thing it was. If you needed help, she was there.

This person who with all of her past, her demons- is still the girl who is trying to live her life as simple as possible. Who is not greedy, nor ever excepts much from you, and looks at her life like just another chance of living it the way she always wanted it, humble and peaceful. Happy.

* * *

As she opened the door to her apartment now,there was a big, warm, smile thrown towards me, her eyes filled with some warm glow, a glint of teasing and affection. And her smile...breathtaking. Beautiful, just like she is, inside and out.

"Hi," she said, greeting me with a short chaste kiss before inviting me inside.

"What did you bring me?"

I smiled. "Nothing special, just something I know you like."

"Well, we can eat this for desert then."

"Deal. The dinner smells wonderful." I praised.

"Thanks. I've made lasagna. I hope you'll like it."

"Love it." I said, kissing her once more, this one lasting a bit longer, a bit deeper, containing a bit more lust.

We kissed for a few seconds longer until she quickly broke it off, clearing her throat.

"We'll save that for later too. Now, let's go eat. I'm hungry."

* * *

As we finished eating the lasagna, which was really delicious, I helped her clean the table, and dishes while we chatted about Jasper, Alice—how she was doing so far, Jasper being a pretty patient person for indulging in her every little food crave or else.

She was also talking about her yoga instructor Rose, who she has been good friends with as well. Seems that she invited us over to lunch next week, on a double date with her new boyfriend.

Bella said that she hadn't met him either but was sure that we will both like him. Since it was something they already planed-both of them- there was nothing left for me to do than say yes.

As we were finally done with everything, we both got really comfy on the couch, in our usual by now position, my back leaned on the couch while my hand around Bella, her soft features leaning on me, her head on my shoulder.

She slowly lifted her head, calling my name quietly while softly starting to kiss my neck, not paying attention to anything other than my skin.

"Yes?" I asked as I feel her lips move lower.

"I want you to touch me."

"You sure? Don't you want to take a break, just for today?"

_Say no._

"No. I was thinking...I want you to touch me here," she said, removing her lips from my neck, and taking my hand my hand in hers, moving it ever so slowly under her shirt, on her stomach, and ghosting her fingers along with mine, wanting to go even higher.

"I don't think..."

"Please," she pleaded, honesty and want in her eyes.

"If anything goes wrong..."

"I'll warn you," she finishes my sentence with a thought of her own.

I removed the hand from her shirt, intending on going slowly. Starting as always from her right hand, massaging what I hoped felt soothing, moving my hand slowly upward.

The look she gave me was confused and even a bit frustrated, but I gave her one of my own that meant something like 'be patient. We'll get there.'

She sighed but relented.

My hands silently took her face, kissing her slowly, patiently, softly. With no rush.

My hands started to do the routine without needing to focus. Massaging her neck, shoulders, elbows, repeating that a few times, trying to keep her calm. After the fourth pass, I was ready to make a little routine down her tummy, passing her breasts. Her breath hitched for a few moments until she understood that I wasn't going near her breasts yet. Massaging her belly with my hands as much as I could, with my lips still on hers, once again, my hand moved upward, to her ribs, until going back down.

I could once again feel impatience in her kisses, so I broke it, leaning my forehead to hers, and giving her the look again.

She snorted lightly but said nothing.

After another pass, I finally decided to try it, putting my hand inside of her shirt,skin against her skin.

Waiting for her reaction-bad or not- she once again did nothing, looking at me with a small smile, ever so lightly nodding, as to say, 'I'm ready, do it!'

My thumb was the first, finding the underline of her bra, until the rest of my fingers followed.

As I carefully shaped my hands around her breast—first left then right—she let out a small moan of satisfaction and content.

Leaning my head against hers, I found her eyes opened, looking at me with a mix of pride, and lust.

"Okay?" I asked, my voice losing its cool, sounding more husky than I intended for it to be.

"Yes. More," she whispered, pleading again.

"Where?"

"Down."

"Here?" I asked, touching her soft tummy.

"No. Go lower."

"Here?" I asked, removing my hands from her flesh, putting them on her thigh. Massaging them soothingly. Lightly.

"No. Higher. To the right."

My hand shook just a bit before touching her between her inner thigh.

"Here?"

"Yes."

Without knowing how exactly to continue, I started as usually, to caress her leg, from the knee, slowly going upward to her hip, rubbing it up, and back down. I kept my eyes on her, sliding my hand up her inner thigh before ever so lightly deciding on to touch her.

"Pancakes" she blurted out, with a twitch of her leg. In an instant my hand were removed from her body.

"You okay?"

"Yes."

"Shall I continue?"I asked, knowing right away what her answer will be.

She nodded.

This time, I took my time, trying to relax her as more as possible.

As I made my fifth pass, from her knee to her thigh-anywhere but the one place she wanted the most- I thankfully got her relaxed enough, getting just a bit closer.

As I made one more pass, I slid my hand closer, to her inner thing, my touch light as a feather.

No safe word. I could still feel a slight twitch though. I made another three more passes,before my hand was softly grazing her. Nothing now. Not even a twitch.

I slid my hand from her hip to between her legs once more, just sticking to the method I had used before, and lightly eased my hand into her center, holding it there, barely touching her. No safe word again. I could feel the heat radiating from her. It made my dick twitch. I held my hand still on her, not knowing how much to push her with this one thing.

She just shifted her hips, wanting more. Needing more.

So I moved once again, avoiding her most sensitive area, and adding more , I added just a bit more pressure on my eight pass, as I rubbed outside of her jeans. I made more passes with my fingers, nervous about the next step I was about to make.

When I finally touched that sensitive spot, with my whole palm, she fucking moaned deeply, making my dick twitch and weep with need.

And just like she _knew_ what I was thinking, she reached out, moving her hands over my chest, lower, until her hand was just right freaking _there_.

I groaned. "Bella, what are you doing?"

"I know you want this. Let me do this for you,please."

"But..." wait, am I really turning this down?

I've been dreaming weeks after weeks of this to come, to happen, envisioned every little thing in my fantasies, but this, right now, it just felt...different. _Wrong._

"I'm not sure if..."

"I am." She said completely confident and calm, unlike what I was.

I sighed, looking at her still, knowing that I will say yes. That after month of lusting and touching each other without getting any kind of release would make us both crazy with need. And here was my chance, chance to be relieved, by her own hand. Of course I would say yes.

So with a sigh,I nodded once.

As soon as I felt her small, warm hand, on my now pretty hard soldier, I knew this would not last long.

I pushed my palm back into her and started again, her letting this cute, short, breathy moan, as I resumed my ministrations.

My eyes stayed half open, focused on her and kissing her neck,while I rubbed her slowly, her doing the same to me.

She was currently curling her fingers around me as she rubbed, while I kept pressing my thumb into her clit, groaning into her neck. She kept rubbing me like that, fucking desperately, both of us ready for the release that will surely come soon. Pun intended.

Her moans grew louder and breathless as her face became just a bit damp with a thin layer of sweat.

The desperation grew, and so did the moaning. It was becoming harder and harder to hold back.

My face once again dropped back into her neck, moaning as she still rubbed me over my jeans.I was pondering about whispering some naughty things in her ear or some shit like that, wanting to give her the chance to come -hopefully- before me. I rubbed again, faster,and unfortunately- or fortunately,depends on your point of view- she did the same. But before I could come up with something else to do, her whole body became suddenly stiff and seconds later, I could feel her shudder. Her mouth opened, emitting the sexiest fucking sound in the world,moaning my name.

Only seconds later, while watching her in a daze while coming apart beneath my hands, I came as well.

* * *

We were catching our breath and recovering, my head still leaned on her shoulder, and hers on mine.

"Edward," she called, her voice still breathy.

"Yeah?"

"It's getting kind of late. You can stay you know...if you want. Better than to walk out in the middle of the night with that big stain of yours all the way back to your condo." Then she laughed joyfully, teasingly.

I took a quick look, and knew she was right. With that huge fucking stain, no matter the day or night, there was just no freaking way I would be brave enough to walk like that all the way to my car, and do a 15 min car drive while the icky mess still occurring inside.

I grinned, leaning and kissing her lovingly, softly, on her shoulder. "Yeah. I'll stay."

* * *

**And...that will be all folks. Thanks for reading.**

**Until next time. ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys. Yes, believe or not, I'm updating a new chapter of MD. **

**Sorry for taking so long. But I know mostly where this story is going to go from now on,so the next chapters that will follow will be updated faster than before. **

**Anyone who is still following and reading this story, thanks for your patience :).**

**SM owns Twilight and its characters. Mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 11  
**

Thankfully, I had the day off, so I decided to visit Alice. As soon as I rang the doorbell, it opened quickly, Jasper on the way out, saying hi and asking for me to keep her company for a little while until he gets back, quickly storming away.

I entered the living room to see her on the couch, covered with blankets while watching something on the tv, rolling her eyes before changing the channel.

As soon as she heard me, she smiled, trying to get up. Wow, she was starting to look really huge with her little rounded belly. Where did the time went by?

"Bella! You're here!"

"Yep. No, don't get up. Sit down."

There was the eye roll again, but she said nothing, hugging me lightly, as much as she was allowed, before sitting back on the sofa, making her way for me to sit.

"So, have have you been? Anything new going on with you?" she asked cheerfully, a big smile on her face.

I shrugged. "Nothing much."

"How about Edward? You? How is everything going?"

"We're fine. "

"I see." she spoke, in a tone that suggested that she doesn't quite believe my words.

"So...is he moving in soon or...?"

I frowned. "Moving in?"

"Well...yeah. You said that most days he stays at your place so I thought..."

"Umm...yeah but only..."I started to say, but was cut off.

"Let me ask you this: does he use your apartment key regularly?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Does he often brings his own clothes with him?"

"Yes..."

"His razor?"

"Actually, no, but he bought it at..."

"Whatever. " she said, interrupting me for the thousandth time."Okay, last question,the most important one...is his toothbrush in your bathroom?"

"Actually no," I spoke proudly for some reason, " but I had a spare one so I told him he could use it. No big deal."

She gave me a smirk, crossing her hands over her chest knowingly.

"Still doesn't mean anything."

"Whatever you say dear," her smile still in place, tapping me on the shoulder.

I sighed. Was she right? Probably, yeah, but this was not something I wanted to think about right now. Once I start analyzing everything, my mind goes into overload and starts freaking out, and this was not the place nor the moment to do so.

I shook my head lightly, focusing all my attention on her.

"I didn't even ask you if you're thirsty or want something else? Chips?" she offered, ready to get up again.

"Sit down, I don't need anything. You need to rest."

And the rolling eyes were back.

"I'm pregnant, not a cripple Bella. I just need...a little help getting up. Damn, I'm getting big."

I smiled at her belly. "I don't want anything, really. Sit down."

"But I do. Now, help me."

I did. She quickly got back, chips and ice cream in her hands.

"Damn, I'm getting really fat."

"You look great."

She snorted, but gave a little smile.

"So...how is everything? The baby?"

"Stubborn, but fine. I went to the ultrasound with Jasper few weeks ago, but the doctor couldn't see the gender. I'm actually going tomorrow again, unfortunately, Jasper can't make it. I was thinking of going alone but, you can come with me if you want?"

"I'd love to."

She grinned, dipping her chips in the ice cream before putting it in her mouth. "Great."

* * *

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Just wanted to hear your voice. Ask where you are."

I smiled at his gentle voice even if he couldn't see it. " I'm picking up Alice for her check up today, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, I'll talk to you later then. Say hello to baby mama for me." His smile was there as well, so big I could almost feel it.

"I will. Don't forget that we're meeting later with Rose and Emmett."

"I won't. Bye."

"Bye."

Just as I was putting my phone in the purse, I saw Alice approaching the car.

"Hey," she spoke cheerfully, opening the car door.

"Hi. You nervous? Curious about finding the gender out today? Hopefully."

"Not really. I mean, I'd like to finally find out what I'm carrying, yes, but, what matters the most to me right now is that he/she is healthy. Else...doesn't matter that much."

A smile. "Of course. Well, shall we go?"

She nodded.

* * *

The look on Al's face as she saw the baby was...astonishing. Soft. Serene. Happy.

I stood there by her side, her hand in mine, astonishment on my face as well, as I looked intensely at something that looked so small and fragile it was hardly believable to be growing inside a human being. It made me feel slightly emotional. And just the sound of the strong, regular heart beat...

"It's a boy." Alice whispered.

"Yes," the doctor confirmed. "A healthy baby boy. It looks like we finally had some luck today."

"It's so small," I whispered quietly.

"Small but very strong," the doctor commented.

One more look at that baby, and I knew, once it finally comes out to the world,I'd love the hell out of that baby.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, a small frown on his face," you've been very quiet."

"I'm fine, just been thinking about Alice." Not the complete truth, but not a lie either.

"She okay? The baby?"

"Yeah. She's having a boy."

"Oh yeah?" He asked with a smile,"that's great. I'll have to call Jazz when we come back from the dinner. He must be proud."

"Mhhmm," my voice barely noticeable, still deep in thought.

"You sure you're okay Bella?"

I tried to smile. "I'm great."

He nodded slowly, not entirely believing me but deciding on letting it go."Okay, good,'cause we're here."

As we were entering the restaurant,we instantly asked for our for our reserved seats, hoping to recognize either of them.

It was easy to recognize Emm, but couldn't seem to find Rose anywhere.

As we were approaching closer, Emm looked quite cozy, his head leaning on the chair as if he was suddenly exhausted,eyes momentarily closed, a small content sigh escaping his lips, a satisfied small smile on his lips.

Wait...why is that look so familiar to me?...looks like something Edward does as well when...OH!

Wait, is this...did she really...damn, she's one brave chick.

"Hi Emmett," I greeted him, a look of total serenity on his face before blinking two more times, finally noticing us.

"Oh, ummm...You're here already. Hi."

"Where is Rose?"

"Oh. Um, I think..she's...must have gone to the bathroom. Look...I think that's her."

"Where?" Both of us asked.

Three seconds later, I heard a loud noise, and a voice under the table, cursing.

"Ah, here you are, " I spoke with a smug smirk. "What were you doing under that table?"

"Like we don't know the answer to that," Edward whispered with a smirk so low only I could hear. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.

"Nothing," Rose spoke quickly, not looking at either of us, fixing her dress awkwardly.

I grinned. "Ouch. Don't know about you Emmett, but that would certainly hurt _my_ ego."

Emmett stayed silent, and ever a bit embarrassed.

"I, uh...I'll be right back, just have to fix my make up," Rose spoke, quickly walking away.

I nodded with a grin, both Edward and I sat next to each other, our eyes focused on Emmett. Poor guy, he looked like he would give anything just about now to just get swallowed by the ground.

After she came back from the bathroom, the bartender asked for our order.

I couldn't stop looking Rose from the corner of my eyes, my smirk never removed, the awkward silence still present.

She gave a look that was supposed to say something like "what the fuck are you staring so much? Yeah, I gave him a blow job, big fucking deal!"

Okay, so she might have said that out loud,not giving shit about anybody who heard it.

I just gave her another one of my smirks. She rolled her eyes but finally smiled as well.

After we addressed the pink elephant in the room-or should we say the restaurant-the conversation was easy to maintain. It seemed Edward and Emmett got along just fine. Rose noticed that and gave me a satisfied wink and in return, I gave her one of my nod and a satisfied, approved smile.

* * *

Edward had a lot of work to do, and since most of his stuff was at his house, he decided to stay tonight at his place, giving me a soft kiss before driving away. I was heading upstairs, finding my keys when I saw a little paper stuck at the door.

_"You should watch where you hide your key."_

I quickly looked at the place where it's usually hidden, but the key was exactly where I've put it.

After unlocking the door, I was still looking at the message. It sounded like a warning, sure, but who could have written it? Must have been Edward. Nobody else but him knew where I have hidden it. Then again,as simple as being hidden under the doormat, every idiot could have found the spare key. But, then again, if it was a thief, why would he/she give me a warning?

Maybe a neighbor?

Searching around the house, I looked for any kind of things that could have been missing, but everything was in its order.

I shook my head, and threw the note in the trash. I was just getting paranoid for nothing.


End file.
